Coitus Interrupt Us

Couples with mismatched libidos have few resources to address their issues

Pertot repeatedly drives home the point that no one libido type is better or worse than any other; they are all just different. However, I could not help but feel that the names she gave to each type conjure up certain judgments: some ("sensual," "erotic") feel more neutral and less pathological than others ("addictive," "compulsive"). "I knew it was not possible to make every libido type seem as attractive, desirable, or 'normal' as the others. In the end, it seemed to me to be best to bite the bullet, and name each libido type according to what seemed to drive them most," said the sex therapist.

My one complaint about When Your Sex Drives Don't Match is that although it includes case studies of gay and lesbian couples and mentions of 'bondage and discipline,' it comes across as pretty heterocentric, ignorant about BDSM and kink, and focused exclusively on monogamous couples (which is ironic since I saw lots of ways this book could be very useful for kinky, queer, and nonmonogamous people). Nonetheless, it's a very important resource that turns readers on to a refreshing perspective with substantial solutions.

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