By Seth Colter Walls
By Brett Koshkin
By Spencer Wilking
By Christina Black
By Calum Marsh
By J. Pablo
By Phillip Mlynar
By Jenna Sauers
Bruce Campbell, in an Old Spice ad, at a grand piano, singing Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" while surrounded by adoring ladies.
He totally should've had Bruce Willis's career, but it looks as though he's managing OK.
Spoon's "The Ghost of You Lingers."
Well at least you picked a great Pulp song to write a half-assed, demo-sounding rip off of.
TRANSCENDENT CONCERT EXPERIENCE
Brilliantly demented "word jazz" pioneer Ken Nordine mesmerizing a crowd at the Kitchen Thursday night merely by reading the submission guidelines to Poetry magazine.
The story about him and his wife going to a Taco Bell in Wisconsin for their anniversary was even better.
SOCIETAL LITMUS TESTS
Watching that video of Zach Galifianakis in the crowd at a taping of Ellen, looking horrified and bemused and totally superior as the losers around him all dance happily on cue ... and siding with the dancers.
A healthy indicator that you're maturing.
DELICATE JOURNALISTIC OPERATIONS
The New York Daily News very carefully (as though wielding large, sterilized salad tongs) describing the lyrical content of Mets right fielder Lasting Milledge's debut rap single.
Evidently Milledge "raps about 'rich (N-word),' 'wealthy (N-word),' a 'top-notch 'ho' and having 'a different bitch for every night' on the sexually explicit song 'Bend Ya Knees.' "
CLASSIC ROCK PUNCHING BAGS
The sudden surge in unnecessary disparagement of the Eagles.
At this point they're a hell of a lot more interesting than Wilco.
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