It Takes Two?

A Beginner’s Guide to Solo Sex Games

Having cybersex in virtual worlds is a lot of fun, but it’s not the only way to get off to a game. There are tons of sex-based video games available online that don’t require the social graces of cybering with another human being. These titles run the gamut from sensual to explicit to hokey—and from free to downright expensive—but they all have one thing in common: they can be played alone. Requiring little more than a few clicks of a mouse and some (handy?) solo time, cybersex-free sex games are ideal for when you don’t feel like being on the virtual prowl—or when you just want to watch digital breasts bounce up and down for hours.

Game: Virtually Jenna
Type: Sex simulator
Platform: PC only
Price: $29.95 per month
Website: www.virtuallyjenna.com

As for as sex games go, Virtually Jenna is top of the line. Porn-star extraordinaire Jenna Jameson herself posed for the 3-D rendering of her virtual body, which players can manipulate at will. That means undressing her, positioning her, even poking her nipples with digital vegetables. (Who knows, maybe that's your thing?) Jenna also comes with a cast of equally curvaceous female friends—and a few male ones—who keep things interesting by being her playmates. To the sound of Jenna’s stiff, repetitive moans, feel free to act out sex with the girl of your dreams, or just snap some sexy photos. Plus, the online subscription model means monthly updates, so even if there’s no goal to the game, at least you can “pimp Jenna’s pussy” in real time.

Game: Flash games
Type: Internet quickies
Platform: Any computer with Flash player
Price: Free
Website: www.newgrounds.com/mature

Flash games may be lacking in graphical sophistication, but at least there are no downloads or credit cards required. Most of them have been developed independently (read three guys in a basement), so expect short play times and a sense of humor. Some try to simulate sex itself—which usually gets as complicated as, “Click here to make the cartoonish, large-chested blond go faster.” Others are “dating” simulators, though “dating” translates more accurately to “getting into a girl’s pants.” And at least one Flash game lets you practice the delicate art of making women orgasm in their sleep. (Don’t ask me how that would work in real life. I just don’t know.) But the best Flash games take a simpler approach. They use a tried-and-true game concept, like Snood-style matching, and tack on sexual elements. Line up three blue condoms and they’ll disappear, revealing just a little bit more of a hidden nudey picture. . .

Game: LoveChess
Type: Enhanced classic
Platform: PC only
Price: $24.99
Website: http://www.lovechess.nl

LoveChess takes "over the board" to a whole new level. With an advanced chess engine, the most recent release of LoveChess lets you play out the classic game of strategy and war. . . as an army of naked Egyptians. Every time one piece captures another, the game cuts to an animation of the two (always opposite genders) going at it in some unlikely position. Just moving from square to square won’t earn you any real action though, only a few brief moments of animated masturbation. Ah, ancient Egypt. It was a simpler time.

Sex games are as varied (both in quality and in content) as our own sexual appetites, so this is by no means a comprehensive list. Those with that libidinous go-get-em spirit are encouraged to explore and report back!

Last week: I dated a hot cyber surfer; then he told me about his real life.

Click Me runs weekly. Contact cybersex columnist Bonnie Ruberg at bonnie[at]heroine-sheik[dot]com.

 
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