By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
Ladies, it's time to tell the truth. We love Pride because it's the perfect excuse to party until we can't move anymore and engage in make-out sessions as if it's our last week on Earthbut, who can blame us?
And why not start the frenzy early? On Wednesday, get to mingling at the new Vagina 1 party [9 p.m., China 1, 50 Avenue B, 212-375-0665, free]. If the name alone doesn't do it for you, I don't know what will. Cushy, red-accented lounges named after various female nether regions (Ovary is one, Labia another) offer secluded nooks for getting to know your neighbors. Screaming Orgasm shots ($3) and door prizes from Babeland increase the chances of naughty goings onjust try to remember you're in public.
For those whose style is more chaste, the Jewish Community Center's Caribbean Pride Party[7:30 p.m., JCC in Manhattan, 334 Amsterdam Ave, 646-505-5708, $20$30] takes things down a notch on Thursday with an evening that's perfect for locating wifey material particularly nice girls a mom would love. Dinner, cocktails, and live steel drumming sets those U-Haul dreams floating.
On Friday, Shescape gets back to the debaucherous with the Kick-Ass Kick-Off [10 p.m., Rush, Sixth Avenue, between 15th and 16th streets, shescape.com, $15]. DJ Francesca Magliano spins dance music galore for hundreds of sophisticated women there to eye go-gos and get sloshed. If you'd rather be the dancer on the podium than one in the crowd, Showstopper [10 p.m., BLVD, 199 Bowery, myspace.com/showstopperparty, $15] is where it's at. The venue's havinga "So You Want to Be A Showstopper" contest for any girl who thinks her pastie twirl is the best. The winner pockets 100 bucks and gets to dance with the cabaret-fashioned Showstopper Girls at next month's party. Pop singer Kirsten Price emcees.
Brooklynites lazy about leaving the borough can walk over to regal hostess Aja's Cirrah Friday [10 p.m., Cattyshack, 249 4th Avenue, 718-230-5740, $10] with DJs Mark James and Reborn spinning hip-hop, house, Afrobeat, and other boogie-friendly tunes. It's a white partywhich means prizes and free drinks for anyone dressing the part.
On Saturday, the action moves to Heritage of Pride's first big official dance for women, Rapture [from 6 p.m. to 11:30 p.m., Pier 54, 13th Street at the Hudson River, 212-807-6421, $25$35]. The party takes the carousing outside, bright and early (or at least what counts as early when you're nursing a hangover), offering views of the Hudson and thousands of lovelies on the dancefloor. This year, DJ Kris Kono takes over the turntables with pop faves while songstresses Ultra Naté and Sylvia Tosun bust out dance-y house music. Gingi Medina and Melissa Hayden from the new surfer reality series Curl Girls also show the ladies love.
If you're sick of hanging out with teenyboppers, you'll relish Lovergirl NYC's A Taste of Honey II[10:30 p.m., Copacabana, 390 11th Avenue, 917-881-6259, $20$30]. Leave the sneakers and the athletic duds at home for this 25-and-up fete that'll include daring erotic performances by DC's Oohzee and Sweet Goldie, and a show by r&b singer Monifah. Lovergirl NYC also lives up to its rep for having one of the city's leading hip-hop (not to mention most libidinous) parties with the Annual Pride Extravaganza[10 p.m., Rebel, 251 West 30th Street, 718-654-5833, $25$30]. The Wire's Felicia "Snoop" Pearson hosts as countless out-of-town erotic dancers get down on the stage. DJs Mary Mac, Trini, Missy B, and Tease light up the ones and twos.
On Sunday, pretend you never drank all of those Long Island iced teas, and slip over to Henrietta Hudson [11 a.m., 438 Hudson Street, 212-924-3347, free] for breaks from the Pride Parade. The bar is packed from noon 'til who-knows-when with hundreds of women bumping and grinding. It's a nice spot to meet the flirtatious-and-ready if previous nights have proved fruitless. The best place, though, for a last-minute tryst is Snapshot's trusty Proud As F*ck [6 p.m., Bar 13, 35 East 13th Street, snapshotnyc.com, $9]. Only a few blocks from the parade, the rocker-ish party has girls rolling all over the place with five DJs booming house, new wave, hip-hop, and more on two floors. Take breathers (and cigarette breaks) on the roof deck, 'cause it's your last chance to get lucky.