By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): A Sagittarius reader named Sarah Morehouse sent me an announcement. "I've just discovered that I'm . . . ummm . . . cough . . . RULER OF THE WORLD," she said. "Don't panic. I'm planning to be a benign dictator. But here are two immediate changes. First: We will no longer separate reverence and amusement. Every one of us must regard humor as holy, and infuse our moments of solemn awe with giggles and snorts. Secondly: All of us are artists. That's right: Each and every one of us is now a certified creator of smart beauty, deep spiritual meaning, and good-natured practical jokes." Queen Sarah went on at length, but I'll stop there so I have room to point out this truth: Of all the signs of the zodiac, you Sagittarians are in the most perfect position to embody her new laws. In the coming weeks, you should regard them as your mandate.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): This would be a perfect moment to send 100 roses to someone you love. Oddly enough, it'll also be an excellent time to send 100 roses to someone you love to hate. In other words, the karmic ledger needs to be kept in balance. You've got to make sure that all the opposites in your life are given their proper due. Each side of every paradox deserves your equal attention. What's the payoff? An exotic and lyrical brand of harmony will be yours if you expand your mind to encompass the yin of every yang, and vice versa.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Consider writing an entertaining advertisement about yourself in order to attract the resources you'd like to play with. Or think about buying the domain name "showerblessingson[putyournamehere].com," then setting up a website where the world can send you business offers, marriage proposals, free gifts, and invitations to travel. The point is, Aquarius, that the upcoming weeks will be a perfect time to get very aggressive and highly specific about asking for what you need. Rev up the fun-loving parts of your imagination.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20):If you're a gardener who loves your plants, you're merciless toward weeds. Even if you have a deep reverence for all forms of life, you don't waver in your drive to yank out the hairy bittercress that's crowding your tomatoes. You don't feel twinges of guilt as you eliminate the chickweed near your squash. I advise you to use a similar approach as you nurture your little growing things in the coming days. Safeguard them from anything that would distract them from their instinctive purpose or weaken their power to become more thoroughly themselves.