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Purse Snatching

What's a girl got to do to get a fake Louis Vuitton around here?

Finally, after what seems like the better part of an hour, my guy is back. He's bearing not a beribboned package but a garbage bag, and in it is my Globus. Trouble is, we can't take it out of the bag: I'm allowed to peek in, which I do, but when I say I don't care for the brown medallion after all, the woman in charge goes ballistic. "Oh my God! My brother got brown!" "I told you brown!" the brother chimes in, furious.

Now, I don't just feel like a criminal, but also an ingrate, a user, a cold, unfeeling person who took up nearly an hour of these hard-working people's time. I walk swiftly—OK, I run—across the street, where I immediately see a couple of other gentlemen lurking with cards. I am tempted to try again—maybe someone else has pink?—but am suddenly seized with the thought that maybe they all work for Steely.

It may look like a plastic tote, but it's Louis Vuitton's $1,800 PM Street bag.
photo: Mollye Chudacoff
It may look like a plastic tote, but it's Louis Vuitton's $1,800 PM Street bag.

Terrified of another confrontation and feeling unaccountably guilty over the whole ordeal, I scamper up Greene Street, where I find myself inside the gleaming, air-conditioned, near-empty Vuitton store, a far cry from Canal's raffish encampments. And there I discover this summer's version of the Globus. It's called the PM Street, for some unfathomable reason ( pas mal? pauvre moi?), and made of leather cunningly woven to resemble those plaid plastic shopping totes for sale in third-world markets and usually carried only by people of extremely limited means. Of course, the original version—of which, ironically, this is clearly a copy—lacks the round Vuitton logo, but then again it is also available for substantially less than $1,800.

Sick and campy and in extremely bad taste this item may be, but I am ashamed to say I kind of like it. Oh, well, what's the hurry? Steely and company will be stuffing its likeness into a trash bag any day now.

Last week: Lynn Yaeger gets an exclusive peek at Sex and the City's upcoming movie script.

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