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By Zachary D. Roberts
Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed-Mexican heritage. Muchos many responses continue to trickle in; gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary that ustedes wrote, with the occasional Mexican commentaryenjoy!
If you're half-Mexican and. . .
Half-black: Black beans, Blaxican, Choco-Taco, Negrexican
Half-Arab: Garbanzo beaner, America's worst nightmare
Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, combination plate, Mexinese, rice-n-beans
Half-Cornish: Cornish tortilla
HalfCosta Rican:Mextico (tico is a nickname for Costa Ricans)
Half-Czech: Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian
Half-Filipino: Chilipino, Mexipino
Half-gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of "American" and chilanga, the nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Gabaxicano, Güerexican, Mixican, Whispanic, white bean
Half-German:Beanerschnitzel, Germexican, wiener beaner
Half-Greek:Greexican, Mexi-eek (I never said all of the nicknames were clever)
Half-Guatemalan: Chapano (chapín is a nickname for Guatemalans)
Half-Hawaiian: Pineapple salsa
Half-Indian (the India kind): Curry tamale
Half-Indian (the Indian kind): Navajole
Half-Irish:Leprecano, green bean, McBeaner
Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Spic-talian
Half-Jewish:Jalapeño bagel, Jumex (also the name of a delicious Mexican fruit-nectar drink), Kahlua-jewa, kosher burrito, Mexi-Jew
Half-Polish:Polexican, Polexiqui (this particular gal was Yaqui Indian on her Mexican side; she also called herself a Mexipolaqui)
Half-redneck: Rednexican, redback, wetneck
Half-Russian: Brown Russian
Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself "spam," a Cuban Jew goes by "Jewban," while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a "Minneruvian." Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted that Dominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is "anus" in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-blooded gabacho:
"How about 'an American,' like all of us mutts?"
Don't see your nickname? E-mail me below, and I'll compile a full list for my as-yet-unfinished webpage!