Movies

A forgettable, formulaic comedy so predictable that seeing it and skipping it are the exact same thing. Fox sneak-previewed the movie during the holidays, between the Christmas buzz and New Year's hangover. Only, like everything else consumed and digested during that time period, 27 Dresses was little more than empty, leaden, stomach-aching calories all but already forgotten; and it starred ... ? Oh, yes, wait—Katherine Heigl, right. She's plain Jane, the bridesmaid who's never the bride, in love with her sportswear-making boss (Ed Burns, seemingly in every bad movie this January), who only has eyes for Jane's sister Tess (Malin Akerman). Through circumstances slight and silly, Jane meets Kevin (James Marsden, still singing), a wedding columnist for a New York Times knock-off who's as creepy as he is charming: The guy is one Post-It note away from stalking, though movies like this play that kind of boorish behavior as lovey-dovey cute. Ultimately, Jane betrays Tess, Kevin betrays Jane, everything falls apart until everyone comes together—and if you think that's spoiling anything, you should see your first movie in the near future.