SAGITTARIUS [Nov. 22Dec. 21]
In my astrological opinion, you should adopt a miscellaneous and serendipitous receptivity in the coming week; you should be extra-responsive to the primal flux as its odd luck whisks you through in-between zones and fascinating gray areas. And yet I also think you should be profoundly picky about which of the thousand and one stimuli you allow to grab your full attention. In other words, make your mind wide open and allow it to wander freely, but give your favors only to the most piquant twists and tasty bits.
CAPRICORN [Dec. 22Jan. 19]
To advertise its upgraded features, the search engine Ask.com rolled out a marketing campaign with a seductive catchphrase "Instant Getification" (as in immediately acquiring your desired results). I'm borrowing that mantraor at least half of itfor your horoscope: Your getification levels will be way up in the coming weeks. This doesn't mean you will instantaneously and automatically obtain everything you crave without any effort. Rather, it suggests that you will have an enhanced power to summon the will and ingenuity and resourcefulness that will help you get what you want.
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PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia:
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AQUARIUS [January 20February 18]
You're entering an astrological phase when it makes sense to expand and dramatize your ego. In light of the poetic license this affords you, I'd like to introduce you to the concept of enlightened bragging: It will allow you to tout your own brilliance at the same time that you disarm anyone who might be tempted to sneer at you for doing so. The playfully self-mocking tone of your enlightened bragging will give you an opportunity to demonstrate your high opinion of yourself without feeling guilty or defensive. Here's all you need to do to get started: Make yourself a T-shirt or bumper sticker that reads, "I am a Jenius."
PISCES [Feb. 19March 20]
Every now and then, when the garbage I generate in a week's time exceeds what one trashcan is able to hold, I have to make a special phone call to the office of the refuse and recycling service to request that they pick up an extra can. If I'm reading your astrological omens correctly, this is one of those times for you, at least from a metaphorical perspective. You need to get rid of more than your usual amount of useless junk and residual wastesmuch more, probably, including a backlog of stuff that you may not have even realized was garbage until now.
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