Dear Dan

I love your column, and I appreciate that you continually stand up for the oppressed, the repressed, and those who just need a little push to get out there and live how they really want (and often need) to.

But I couldn’t help but cringe at a recent letter from RUFF and at your advice that (while you reiterate that “Bestiality is wrong, wrong, wrong, because an animal cannot give its consent”) RUFF go get that house with a big yard and take his animal loving inside. I actually agree with your assertion that those of us who implicitly condone cruelty to animals by supporting industries that torture and kill them for food and clothing have little room to bash dog fuckers (or, as seems to be the case here, dog fuckees). Still, I think you’d have done well to suggest that RUFF see the shrink FIRST and consider getting the house down the road.

Whether you wanted to or not, your suggestion that RUFF go out and get the house and yard (regardless of how many ellipses you use in your sentences to express your discomfort with the issue) suggests that secretive dog fucking is somehow okay. This, of course, stands in direct opposition to your statement that dog fucking isn’t cool.

Anyway, Dan, I’m normally right there with you on matters of sexual difference, but do you honestly think that this guy (all of 25 years old) couldn’t use a little therapy? If for no other reason than to work through something that is causing him pain? I say, suggest the dude go to a fucking shrink! And after a few months, if he still pitches a tent every time he sees that Irish wolfhound in the dog park, perhaps then he could start saving for that house.
— Not Accepting of Dog Sex

Might there be another option for RUFF besides a life alone or screwing dogs?

Perhaps he could consider “dating furries”? Or am I just naive to think that someone dressed up as a dog would, err, get his motor running?
— JB

I read your advice for RUFF and quite honestly I don’t know where to begin analyzing it ethically. But from a practical standpoint, there are potential dangers in attempting to be fucked by a dog. If this dude is really looking to be penetrated (and not just the old “oops, I spilled peanut butter on my crotch” trick), he should be aware that during intercourse, a gland at the base of the dog’s penis swells. It’s called the bulbus glandis, and the purpose is to lock the dog’s penis inside the bitch’s vagina during the entirety of mating, since canine ejaculation comes in three stages which can take 20–30 minutes or longer to complete. If you’ve ever seen two dogs walking around like they’re conjoined at the butt, that’s what’s going on. They literally cannot separate themselves!

Now, I have no idea whether this would happen during penetration of a human anus, but I see no reason why it wouldn’t. The potential for physical damage here alarms me, especially since you can’t communicate with a dog the way you can with another person about going slower, being gentle, etc. And imagine if something did go wrong and you were “tied” to the dog for a half hour or more. Ugh, you know what: Don’t imagine it. Just let RUFF know that what you think he’s thinking about doing is, besides being ethically dubious at best, a potential emergency-room nightmare waiting to happen.
— Loves Dogs And Healthy Anuses

While you claim you’re against screwing animals since it is clearly nonconsensual, you then give Ruff the go ahead, by justifying it on grounds that society at large already treats animals like so much dirt. So rather than you challenging yourself to exchange the tortured factory-farmed meat you eat in favor of free-range meat or, god forbid, even reduce or eliminate meat from your diet, you’d go with “two wrongs make a right.”

While you can claim some authority on sex advice, you’re clearly out of your range when it comes to ethical issues such as animal cruelty or environmental issues such as eating factory-farmed meat. But hey, as long as we’re all happy indulging our sexual appetites, who cares about the suffering and environmental damage that will destroy life on earth as we know it, within a matter of only a few generations.
—Screw The Planet

Instead of acting this out, I think the guy with the dog fetish should see a sex-positive psychodynamic therapist. Why? Because I disagree with your belief that fetishes cannot be changed. They can.

While most fetishes add to the vast and stunning variety of sex to enjoy, those that are nonconsensual, or carry unacceptable dangers, or, in RUFF’s case, prison and/or living an extremely isolated life, may be better left in fantasy. Or better, explored to see how they come to play such a key role in our sexual responses.