Can Online Sex Heal Emotional Trauma?

A new book on fantasies makes us reconsider our cybersex daydreams

FRANK I have cybersex to explore weird, interesting things that would be taboo, icky, or unrealistic in the real world…. As far as specific fantasies, I like being on the dominant side of things… I also enjoy incest and ageplay fantasies, entirely because of the taboo that they carry outside of cybersex…. I like sex involving pregnant women, anal sex, orgies, wet and messy scenes... Again, lots of things that are hard, uncomfortable, or illegal in real life.

Though we’d obviously need more research to draw real conclusions, but perhaps Kahr’s ideas about fantasies don’t hold up for cybersex? For one, none of the respondents report returning obsessively to the same scenario. Instead, they favor exploration, imagination, and transgression. Still, Kahr gives us a new way to think about our online sex lives. He makes us more aware of what they might mean. I don’t know about you, but the next time I head into a chat room and role-play that scene about the two Swedish girls with creamy skin who get covered in hot fudge, I’ll wonder: was I traumatized by an ice cream Sunday? Previously in Click Me: Are Anonymous Mobs Reliable Sources for Sex Advice?

Click Me runs on on Mondays. Got a question about cybersex? Write to your friendly cyberhood sexpert Bonnie Ruberg to ask advice or to share stories about sex and the internet: bonnie [at] heroine-sheik [dot] com.


Heroine Sheik
Bonnie Ruberg's blog about sex, tech, gender, and videogames

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