By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
The problem? I must be one of those people who has a constant wandering eye, and right now I think I am in love/lust with another man. It's occurred to me recently that if it isn't one love interest on the side, it's another. I don't want to lose my lover, but I know being honest would finish us off this time around, so what am I to do about this other guy? I guess there is a simple solution—confess and move on—but all I want is just to have sex with this other guy. Besides lying or telling the truth or talking about opening our bedroom, which my boyfriend has already objected to, what should I do? —On Fire
"I think you should be monogamous," says Mom. "I think everyone should be monogamous." Why? "I don't think we were meant to be promiscuous." Why? "Because we're supposed to find someone we like and settle down with that person." Why? "Because that's what mothers want their kids to do, that's why. It brings order to the world. Stability. So, in my opinion, you shouldn't act on your feelings for this man who is not your boyfriend. Not all decisions should be based on how you feel."
As for your lover: "He sounds very nice and forgiving. Maybe too nice and too forgiving. Forgiveness is important—I'm a forgiving mom—but it sounds like he's being a doormat. If monogamy is important to him and you can't control yourself, then maybe you two aren't a match."
What is the medical explanation for the fact that the skin of the penis is often darker than skin that is not exposed to sunlight? Does the bacteria a penis encounters while fucking have anything to do with this phenomenon? —Ken H
"Ask a doctor," Ma sez. "That's what I would do. Or better yet, don't worry about things like this and, you know, have a life."