By Keegan Hamilton
By Albert Samaha
By Village Voice staff
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] Your metaphorical pregnancy has gone on rather long. No reason to panic: I'm sure your brainchild or masterpiece will arrive shortly. But just for fun, maybe you could watch a time-lapse film of a rose opening. That was helpful in expediting the birth process for two new mothers I know. Here are two other tricks to try, even if the blessed event you're about to enjoy is purely symbolic: 1) Arrange to be in a place where a storm is coming on. Folk tradition says that labor often follows drops in barometric pressure. 2) Get a hold of rings made from a rattlesnake tail. Early American explorers Lewis and Clark gave them to their Native American guide Sacagawea when it was near her time, and they seemed to magically expedite the baby's arrival.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] I've got three messages for you. They may seem unrelated, but by this time next week, you will see that they are intimately interconnected. 1) Unless you were raised in the woods by badgers, it's a perfect moment to slip into your second childhood. 2) Unless you really can't stand having your mind changed, it's an excellent time to launch a daring project that would have seemed impossible to the person you were a year ago. 3) People unsympathetic to your cause may think you're in the throes of delusions of grandeur, but those of us who have faith in your untapped powers say they're not delusions, but viable fantasies.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] On the San Francisco State University campus, the lampposts shine blue lights. It's not just a decorative touch: Of all the colors, blue best pierces through fog, which is a regular feature in that part of the country. In this spirit, I suggest that you install a blue lightbulb in a prominent place in your environment for the next two weeks. It will be a symbolic reminder that there may be more mental murk and emotional haze for you to navigate through than usual. With the proper illumination, you won't be deluded or slowed down a bit.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] The Washington Post gave its readers an assignment: Come up with a statement they'd like to sneak onto President Bush's teleprompter during a major speech. (Chances would be good that he'd probably just say it, right?) The entries included: "I shall make it my duty to eat a kitten for breakfast every day"; "Global warming can be reversed if everyone just turned his air conditioner around"; and "I wish to announce my conversion to Islam." I bring this to your attention, Pisces, because you're in peril of getting into a situation like that. Unless you're careful, you could end up saying things you don't mean or expressing yourself in ways that don't reflect your actual feelings. To make sure that doesn't happen, concentrate hard on communicating with maximum clarity and candor.
HOMEWORK For exactly five days, uphold your highest ideal in every little way you can imagine. Report the results by going to RealAstrology.com and clicking on "E-mail Rob."