Look my ass up on Google, CTS, and it says that I'm a fag. I've been with the same guy for 13-plus years, we're husbands in Canada, boyfriends in the United States, and our young son's loving parents wherever the fuck we go. I have never claimed to be a "sexpert," whatever that is, and while I do not doubt that the Playboy Advisor is a better man than I in every respect, the volume of mail I get prevents me from answering everyone personally.

Q. I am a 23-year-old female whose boyfriend has a piss fetish. By this I mean that he enjoys it when I urinate into his mouth. While this is not something I find erotic, I have no issue with indulging him. My only problem with it is that I don't like to kiss him afterward because of the taste. I can't stand it. Is there a tactful way to ask him to brush his teeth afterward without completely ruining the mood? Thank you very much for your help. —Embarrassed Non-Urine Fan

A. Seeing as there's no tactful way to ask someone to piss in your mouth, ENUF, you're under no obligation to be tactful about asking your boyfriend to brush his damn teeth. Saying, "Go brush your damn teeth, piss-boy, and you better be back here before I decide to eat asparagus at every meal for the rest of my fucking life" in a low and sexy voice should not only do the trick, it will ensure that his dick is still hard when he gets back.

Download Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday at www.thestranger.com/savage.

mail@savagelove.net
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