By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] I'm issuing a too-much-of-a-good-thing warning: Soaking up too much pleasure could dilute the value of your bliss. Pushing too hard on behalf of your creative pragmatism could undermine the labor of love you've worked so hard on. Therefore, Capricorn, please accept my invitation to enjoy a period of rest and assimilation. You can return later for another round of pure intensity.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Studies show that at least half the population would give up sex for a few months if they were rewarded for their abstinence with a free 60-inch plasma TV. But if you're offered a deal like that anytime soon, Aquarius, I suggest you reject it. According to my analysis of the omens, it will be crucial to your mental, physical, and spiritual health to have regular erotic experiences during the coming weeks. If you don't have a partner, have fun with your invisible muse, the angel in your dreams, or your personal version of God or Goddess.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] A professional dominatrix I know says that many of her clients are men whose jobs give them excessive authority over other people. When she's bossing around these honchos, she sees herself as an agent of karmic correction. I bring this up, Pisces, because you're in a phase when you should rectify any imbalance of power that exists in your own sphere. If you're a swaggering alpha male or female, put in a stint as a humble servant. If you're normally a timid soul, flex your willpower with feisty abandon. If you're neither a control freak nor a doormat—and thus have no karma to balance—spend quality time meditating on how to gain more power over the wild ebbs and flows of your imagination.
HOMEWORK Create a list of five words you consider bad and five words you consider good. Then make up a little chant using them all, and speak the chant aloud 10 times. Testify at RealAstrology.com.