"But a lot of devotees don't think of themselves as fetishists," adds Cory. "They compare their interests to someone who likes red hair or big boobs—more of a preference or something they have an emotional connection to rather than something they absolutely need to get off."

Dear Dan:

Please help me. I'm 38 and have no boyfriend or friends to go out with. I have been in a wheelchair for 10 years with a hereditary condition. I have low self-esteem, which does not help. I don't know how to fix it. If I do ever go somewhere on my own, I never find people that want to talk, and my life is so boring.

— Dying Out Here

"The effects of the social isolation people with disabilities face can include depression," says Cory, "and from this brief note, that's my first concern." Cory thinks you might benefit from seeing someone—le shrink—about your general mental health before you start looking for a boyfriend. "The reader wants to 'fix' the problem, but the truth is that there isn't any quick or easy fix.

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