AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Scientists used to believe that a butterfly has no recollection of its previous life as a caterpillar: The pupa breaks down into primal goo during its metamorphosis, they said, erasing all trace of the caterpillar's brain. But new research suggests that there is continuity—at least some of what the caterpillar learned remains available to the butterfly. As you carry out your own personal mutation in the coming months, Aquarius, I believe you will experience a similar process, thus ensuring that the New You will benefit from the wisdom that the Old You possessed.

PISCES [February 19–March 20] It's Blame All Your Problems on God Week. You hereby have license to shun responsibility for the pain you feel and the messes you've made, and instead ascribe it all to the Divine Mischief Maker. The secret of achieving success in this enterprise is to act as if your dilemmas really have been entirely caused by God's mistakes, His intentional cruelty, or His wicked sense of humor. By the way, Accept Total Responsibility for Your Problems Week is coming up next, and to observe that holiday correctly, you'll have to be thoroughly sincere about this week's. PS: If you're an atheist, then it's Blame All Your Problems on Your Parents Week.


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