All My Girlfriend Wants To Do Is Get High, Drunk, and Watch TV. What Should I Do?

Dear Dan:

In your last column, you said Bi Bi Bridie's fiancé issued an "irrational ultimatum" because he didn't want his partner to sleep with another female. He'd made it clear before they were together that that was his preference. She agreed to those terms.

Yet in a column three weeks ago, you told Confused in Canada—a guy in a long-distance relationship whose woman wanted an open relationship—that his reluctance to open up their relationship didn't mean he was jealous, just monogamous.

Maybe I'm missing something, but it sounds like both of these guys know what they want and stated their intentions clearly. Why is the first guy irrational for stating his intentions and the second guy "just monogamous"?A Bit Confused

Because I said so, ABC. Because, unlike CIC's girlfriend, BBB is bi—and yes, that detail makes a difference. And, most importantly, because I said so.

BBB shouldn't make a commitment that she's already proven herself to be incapable of honoring; that's just setting her marriage up for failure. But BBB's fiancé shouldn't extract a commitment from his girlfriend that he knows she will either be incapable of honoring or will quickly come to resent him greatly for having to honor. He can say, "You can have me, or you can have this very important part of your sexuality" to his fiancé, but by doing so, he's setting his marriage up for failure. That makes his ultimatum irrational.

More stuff at thestranger.com/savage.

mail@savagelove.net