By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
10 p.m.: Guess who won Best Actress? Deanna Dunagan! Deanna Dunagan! Deanna Dunagan!
10:14 p.m.: Daniel Radcliffe presents an award, and the air is fraught with tension: Will he flash his magic weenie to beef up the ratings? And he does! (Oh, hush. When Macbeth lost to Boeing Boeing, I went into toxic shock and started hallucinating.) Sondheim doesn't show for his special award. Hopefully, it's not because of Miranda's rap—or because he's still working on Bounce.
10:35 p.m.: Xanadu showcases one of its very few semi-straightforward numbers. Weird, but at least all the principals get to strut their stuff—especially Cheyenne Jackson's thighs. And at least they didn't show all their numbers, like South Pacific did.
10:50 p.m.: That show's dreamy Paulo Szot doesn't thank a lover of either gender in his speech. I'm totally available in between the Cry-Baby boys. Meanwhile, guess who wins Best Actress in a Musical? Yes! Yes! Yes!
11:30 p.m.: I went to the after-party! And I asked Counting Crows' Adam Duritz if his professed closeness with the Passing Strange guy, Stew, is true shit. Yes, he said, "he's even lived in my house. I'm a sucker for someone staying there. It's a total commune." More shockingly, I had no idea Duritz was a complete show queen. "I grew up in San Francisco," he explained simply.
En route to the memento bag, I caught Xanadu writer Douglas Carter Beane running for the exit and asked if he'll do yet another Olivia Newton-John adaptation for his next project. "Maybe that movie with John Travolta where they had zero sexual chemistry," he played along. No, not Grease—it was a sad follow-up called Two of a Kind, which is absolutely ripe for the spoofing. Though Travolta had even less chemistry in Moment by Moment with Lily Tomlin, who on the Tonys cutely mocked the butch walking style of Marisa Tomei—whose Top Girls co-star Martha Plimpton was feeling even less pain than the old man from The Seafarer.
My next adventure: a scary outer borough! Which I came from!