"There's a strong subculture of unbridled you that finds the notion of choosing one sexual preference over another both damning and a chore," says DJ Jess of TRASH!, a weekly pansexual new wave/glam rock party at 40C. On June 27, TRASH! celebrates Pride with its first annual Pretty Gay Masquerade [40 Avenue C, 212-466-0800, 10 p.m., $5–$10], with an open bar courtesy of Zygo Energy Vodka till 11 p.m. and giveaways from Kill Shop Kill. Enjoy a night of riotous sexuality sans prefix where, as Jess says, "we care less about who's in your bed and more about who's on your iPod."
We're such a big tent, there's even room for those who get up every morning and go to a real job. Meet your future ex-husband on the Human Rights Campaign Greater New York Steering Committee's annual Pride Cruise [June 25, $86, check greaterny.hrc.org for location].
So who have we left out? Oh, right, the hot muscle crowd. There's plenty for them to do, starting with circuit stars Peter Rauhofer and Offer Nissim's Work Pride Special Friday [myspace.com/worknyc], or jungle master Victor Calderone's Evolve: Pride 2008 on Saturday [Pacha, 618 West 46th Street, 212-209-7500, 10 p.m., $30].
Men from around the world will be rubbing muscle at Ric Sena's Alegria [June 28, Webster Hall, 125 East 11th Street, alegriaevents.com, 11 p.m., $90] and the Saint at Large's Champions [June 29, Pacha, 618 West 46th Street, saintatlarge.com, 10 p.m., $50–$60].
But the one party that brings everyone together is the capstone of the Pride March, Heritage of Pride's Dance on the Pier [June 29, Pier 54 in Hudson River Park, 13th Street and West Side Highway, 4 p.m., $55–$125]. It's the main event, with a secret superstar (we're talking Whitney, Mariah, J. Lo, Janet) and fireworks over the Hudson. Because, in the end, we're all here together, and we're all beautiful.