By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES [March 21–April 19] Every day for 44 years, the German writer Karl Wilhelm von Humboldt composed a poem for his wife, the brilliant Karoline von Dachroeden. In accordance with your astrological potentials, Aries, I will ask you to imitate his outpouring of creative love. Every day for the next two weeks, find it in your wild heart to make a sublime offering to someone you adore.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] A recent National Geographic article reported on nudibranches: colorful, oddly shaped slugs that live in the sea. The members of a typical species, Nembrotha kubaryana, are whimsical blobs of neon green swirled with orange and purple. The slugs are "blind to their own beauty," however, because their eyes can only register the difference between light and dark. The "blind to their own beauty" thing reminds me of you, Taurus. Would you do me a favor and acknowledge your own charms more aggressively?
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] Jack Kerouac made a "list of 30 essentials," themes that guided him as a writer. Here, I offer you a few of his guidelines (even if you're not a writer, they can be applied to how you create your life): "1) Submissive to everything, open, listening. 2) Be in love with yr life. 3) Something that you feel will find its own form. 4) Be crazy dumbsaint of the mind. 5) Blow as deep as you want to blow. 6) Visionary tics shivering in the chest. 7) Write what you want bottomless from bottom of the mind. 8) Telling the true story of the world in interior monolog. 9) Accept loss forever. 10) Believe in the holy contour of life. 11) No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge. 12) You're a Genius all the time."
CANCER [June 21–July 22] The tabloids report that Cancerian Tom Cruise has plans to build a $10 million bunker designed to save him and his family when the evil alien overlord Xenu attacks Earth, fulfilling a prophecy of his religion, Scientology. If the reports do have a grain of truth, and Cruise has been considering the project, now would be the time for him to begin construction. I'm not saying that I believe Xenu's on his way. My point is that you Crabs will place yourself in harmony with cosmic rhythms if you attend to matters that will bolster your security and foster domestic bliss.
LEO [July 23–August 22] "I do not seek, I find." Pablo Picasso said that years ago, and I hope you will use it as your motto in the coming days. It could help you keep your conscious mind out of the way while your unconscious mind works to bring you what you really require. In other words, Leo, you may miss the point if you're obsessed with a specific answer or goal. It'll be more important to stay alert for what you don't even realize you need to know. To add to your main theme: "The true worth of an experimenter," wrote physiologist Claude Bernard, "consists in his pursuing not only what he seeks, but also what he did not seek."
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] Many people who pray don't limit their conversations with God to spiritual matters. In fact, money is one of the main subjects the Divine Wow is asked to address. If you've never had the chutzpah to do this yourself, I suggest you try it: Higher powers of all kinds may be unusually receptive to your pleas. I'm guessing you'll be able to tap into financial help "from above," or you'll make a connection with a source of wealth that has previously been out of your reach.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] Against all odds, you are finding a way to quit that nagging "addiction." You're shedding a dependency that isn't worthy of you. Congratulations on your hard work, you epic hero, you. In the aftermath of your exacting struggle, please don't immediately initiate another obsessive relationship with a new mania. Enjoy the benefits of being blank and clean and empty for a while.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] What reasons might you have to celebrate your own holy day? Why might you want to go off by yourself or with certain people and conduct a ritual that reinvigorates your knack for having fun? Here are some possible answers: 1) You're overdue for a break from everything you usually do; 2) You're hungry for the magic that happens when you take refuge in the sacred; 3) It's time to stop the world and jump off long enough to break the trance you're in; and 4) You would generate uncanny blessings by paying tender attention to your origins, returning to your sources, and examining the foundations of your life.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] Many Americans regard the Pledge of Allegiance as a supreme oath of loyalty to the United States. Members of Congress still make it their opening salutation at every session. It's not well-known, though, that the pledge was composed by a socialist, Baptist minister Francis Bellamy. Republicans might swoon in apoplexy if you presented them with this proof that an extreme left-winger was a fervent patriot. But doing that would be right in alignment with your assignment in the coming week, Sagittarius. You will receive encouragement from the cosmos whenever you express facts that disprove prevailing biases and mistaken beliefs.