Sarah Palin Sucks, Sean Penn Rocks

Sorting through trailer trash, trying not to nod off during the Emmys.

Some heavy drugs—or at least Ambien—would have been helpful for watching that larger-scale honorfest, the Emmy Awards telecast, which was only jolted out of its ennui by the weird moments like Hillary Clinton poetically popping up in the montage of dead people and Josh Groban belting the theme from The Jeffersons. By that point, my eyes were rolling so fast in their sockets that I almost missed the woman who did the movie about how votes aren't counted strangely urging us to vote!

For the most part, though, political statements allowed on-screen were as rare as real noses and wrinkled foreheads and generally had to be disguised as bits about "eight more years of prunes." A winner who was starting to rail against inarticulate leaders became very inarticulate when he was suddenly cut off, and when Laura Linney noted that she's grateful for community organizers—a coded reference to Obama's background, as trashed by Sarah Palin—I could have sworn I heard a trapdoor open that led right back to Off-Broadway.

Speaking of all that, I've now had time to consider Palin's candidacy with some thoughtfulness, and I still come up with two thumbs way down my throat. I mean, Obama's ex-reverend is supposed to be the problem in this campaign, but her church believes in praying away the gays? She still thinks the war in Iraq has something to do with 9/11? (Even Dubya got the memo that it doesn't.) What's more, Palin thinks it's almighty God who's sent us to war? (I guess she never got the fax about separation between church and state either.) She detests abortion yet will gleefully hunt animals from a helicopter? And she looks like a LensCrafters commercial? Plus she never heard of the Bush Doctrine; Cindy McCain doesn't seem to grasp Roe v. Wade; and her hubby is fuzzy about Spain? Oy. This ticket has been basically giving us a free trailer of a sequel that must be avoided at all costs, even at a senior-citizens' discount!

Evening at the pop: Go-go nominees Ariel (left) and Chantilly Lace at the L Magazine Awards
Jeff Meltz/
Evening at the pop: Go-go nominees Ariel (left) and Chantilly Lace at the L Magazine Awards


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