The Paris Hilton Interview!

Me: But you still meant all that stuff you said about dramatically changing your persona?

Paris: Yeah.

Me: Now that you've had a ton of time to think about what your favorite part of the Bible is, what's your real answer?

Paris: I don't really have a favorite part.

Me: What? So it's the same answer?

Paris: I like it all. It's not like I have a favorite part.

Me: Me neither. I've never read it!

(More silence.)

Me: But you have changed a lot since then, no?

Paris: I've grown up a lot, and I have a great relationship [with rocker Benji Madden]. I was living like I was still a teenager. Now I realize I have a lot of responsibilities on my plate, and I'm running a huge empire. I don't go out as much anymore. I've been to so many parties for so many years, it gets really old.

Me: You're telling me? At least sometimes I can stay home and watch your reality show. It seems a bit scripted, though.

Paris: Just the parts when I'm on my throne, but everything else is real. I'm really friends with the girls—they text me every day. There are offers to do spin-offs of the show in Australia, Germany, Dubai, Russia . . .

Me: Woo-hoo! You have such a gift for media—I don't want to say "manipulation."

Paris: I just do things that interest me and live life to the fullest. I don't do it for any other reason.

Me: But come on, your unstoppable fame didn't just happen. You're behind it all—it's not just magic.

Paris: Like which part?

Me: The part where you glide through a million different projects and never destruct. You're a Warholian, etc., etc.

Paris: I'm a businesswoman, I'm a brand, so everything I do is to escalate my brand and give it more exposure. If you want to be in this business, you have to be in the media.

Me: I've got chills. Got any Zydrate?