By Alex Distefano
By Scott Snowden
By Anna Merlan
By Steve Almond
By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] Please don't wear a T-shirt that says what I saw on the canary-yellow T-shirt of a Japanese tourist at JFK airport: "Sorry, I'm a loser." I also beg you not to read Ethan Trex's book Faking It: How to Seem Like a Better Person Without Actually Improving Yourself. It's very important, in my astrological opinion, that you not demean or underestimate yourself in the coming days. In fact, I'll go so far as to say that you have a sacred duty to exalt your beauty and exult in your talents. Now go read Walt Whitman's "Song of Myself," and periodically murmur the first line all week long: "I celebrate myself, and sing myself."
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] While loitering on a sidewalk outside a nightclub in San Francisco on a September night back in 1994, I found the cover of a booklet lying in the gutter. Written by Marilena Silbey and Paul Ramana Das, it was called How to Survive Passionate Intimacy With a Dreamy Partner While Making a Fortune on the Path to Enlightenment. Unfortunately, the rest of the text was missing. Over the years, I've tried to hunt down a copy of the whole thing, hungry for its wisdom, but have never had any success. I'm hoping that maybe you will consider writing your own version of the subject in the coming year, Aquarius. With the luck I expect you to have, you might actually be up to the task.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] Now and then, you may be able to whip up a wonderful breakthrough in the blink of an eye. But more often, it's the case that beauty and truth and love and justice emerge in their full glory only over the course of a painstaking, step-by-step, trial-and-error process. "All that I made before the age of 65 is not worth counting," wrote renowned Japanese painter Hokusai. "At 73, I began to understand the true construction of animals, plants, trees, birds, fishes, and insects. At 90, I will enter into the secret of things. At 110, everything—every dot, every dash—will live." At this juncture in your personal evolution, Pisces, it's a perfect time to re-commit yourself to your lifelong work.
Homework: Send me a list of your top five New Year's resolutions. Go to RealAstrology.com, and click on "E-mail Rob."