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"Come Back Mickey Rourke!" Cries His Friend

Recession update: Cheapo bashes; home alone with Altoids.

But hold your horse tranquilizers! That was it for the parties—forever—so I had to crawl home to my Altoids buffet and look inside the country cupboard of my soul. But even from this internal panic room, I can serve up some pungent tidbits—those dot-dot-dot items that distract us from pressing issues while so marvelously illuminating our culture. Here goes:

Christine Ebersole—the two-time Tony winner who's in Blithe Spirit—was spotted by my spies, wearing a mink coat and shades (probably tangerine ones) and sprawled out on a bench in Central Park, yapping on her phone. She has become Edie Beale.

Speaking of that revival, director Michael Blakemore recently told me how Angela Lansbury was convinced to come back to Broadway: "I don't think it required any persuasion for her to do the role of a lifetime." . . . Hair choreographer Karole Armitage remembers working on the video of a lifetime, "Vogue," with Madonna. Says Armitage: "She told me, 'Why are you still in dance? You don't get famous! You don't get any money!' " God, you'd think she was the Material Girl or something.

Over at the art house, it might not be any kind of blockbuster, but the best film in ages about suburban angst is Must Read After My Death, a riveting doc about the dissolution of a family, which graciously recorded every internal crisis for our eventual viewing pleasure. Revolutionary Road palls next to this one. See it while you're alive.

Meanwhile, Mickey Rourke came back from the dead this year, and A.J. Benza, the gossip columnist who became an E! star, just wants to give him a hug. Benza sent a Facebook message to Wass Stevens, the Marquee doorman who acts in The Wrestler, saying, "I wrote you earlier in the month, wondering if you have a contact number for Mickey. You might not know he and I were friends back in the mid-'90s, and I'd love to give him a pat on the back is all. If you could help me out, pal."

How poignant, yet sincere. Wass, give him the freakin' number already! Are you reading me? Hello? Nick Dunne! Anyway, back to the Cup-a-Soup.

musto@villagevoice.com

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