!Ask a Mexican! Get With the Lengua

What part of 'illegal' don't you understand?

Dear Mexican: I believe that the words people use to describe other people, intentionally or unintentionally, reflect their political values. But I want to give you the benefit of the doubt, so I write to you. You described César Chávez as hating "illegals," in a previous column, and as being ethnocentric early in his career. This isn't the first time that you've used the word "illegal" to describe undocumented immigrants, and I have problems with that. Now, if we are going to use that term to describe undocumented immigrants, then a lot of U.S. citizens who have committed crimes such as drug trafficking, corruption, murder, embezzlement, rape, warrant-less wiretapping, harassment, stealing, and many, many others—including the ones perpetrated by our departed president—are really the ones who should be called "illegals." Using this term only contributes to the bashing of immigrants and Latinos in general. You must realize that Latinos, especially if they are poor and uneducated, are perhaps the last "safe" target for bigotry and scapegoating in our land of the free and home of the brave. —Saw You Once Moderate a Panel Discussion

Dear Pocha: This was the question I fished out of your ramble: "Why do you use the term 'illegal immigrant' in your column, when it's such a hateful term to describe human beings?" The easy answer is that this is my column, and why aren't you upset that I regularly call Mexicans "wabs," gabachos "gabachos," African-Americans "negritos," Asian-Americans "chinitos," and Muslims "Mohammedans"—and also bash Guatemalans (the true last acceptable target for bigotry)—every couple of weeks? Read a bit more closely, and you'll realize any slur used against a group of gente in ¡Ask a Mexican! is for satirical, reappropriating reasons—the only sacred vaca I'll never slander is undocumented college students.

On a more fundamental level, however, I use "illegal immigrant" to make a point. It's the most moderate term to describe those millions of folks who live in this country in violation of immigration law. Think about it: Know Nothings love to use "illegal alien" because it allows them to describe Mexicans as an invading menace. Aztlanistas, on the otra hand, use "undocumented immigrant," as gratuitous a bit of p.c. pendejada as "Chicana" or "Chicano." For leftists like yourself, Saw You Once, to avoid using "illegal" in describing someone's immigration status implies that something is shameful about the word and their status, and we should all therefore avoid using it. Not this Mexican.

I'm engaged to a Mexican who doesn't have papers, but I'm an American. For two years, he supported me while I was a stay-at-home mom. But recently, he has been unable to work because his work permit expired, so I got a good job and started supporting the family. To me, he is doing the best thing he could for his family by being a stay-at-home dad. Why is it that his familia can't be just as supportive about it? Since I started working, they haven't stopped nagging at him about him not being the man of the house and letting a woman support him. If he doesn't have a problem with it, why should they care? —Chulo, I'm Home!

Dear Gabacha: What a bola of pendejos! Let me assure you that your problem is all in your man's family and is not a Mexican thing, since a gabacha solely supporting us is as big a Mexican wet dream as retaking the southwest United States and Guatemala for good.

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, myspace.com/ocwab, find him on Facebook, or write via snail mail at: Gustavo Arellano, P.O. Box 1433, Anaheim, CA 92815-1433!

 
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