CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] I called my cable-TV company to inquire about a mistake on my bill, and I suspected this would be a visit to the suburbs of hell. My expectations were soon fulfilled. After being cycled through three phases of the automated system, I was told by a machine that I'd get to speak with an actual person in 16 minutes. Then I was delivered into the aural torment of recorded smooth jazz. But a minute into the ordeal, something wonderful happened. The muzak gave way to a series of great indie rock tunes, including three I'd never heard before. A song that I later determined to be Laura Veirs's "Don't Lose Yourself" became my instant new favorite. By the time the billing consultant was ready for me, my mood was cheery. I predict a comparable sequence for you, Capricorn. An apparent trip to the suburbs of hell will have a happy ending that exposes you to fresh sources of inspiration.

AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Some companies have come up with a way to avoid raising prices: They reduce the amount of product they offer by shrinking the packaging. The makers of Skippy Peanut Butter, for instance, restructured the bottom of the jar so that only 16.3 ounces could fit inside, instead of the previous 18. In the coming weeks, Aquarius, I suspect you will be having to deal with metaphorical versions of this strategy. Now that I've told you, maybe you won't be fooled.

PISCES [February 19–March 20] In the past few weeks you have veered close to the edge of blissful triumph. From what I can tell, you averted total ecstatic breakthrough and fantastic raging success by only the narrowest of margins. If you don't want to go all the way in the coming days—if you'd rather remain faithful to your fear of success and fall back into your humdrum comfort zone—you should slam on the brakes immediately. But I warn you: The cosmic pressure to push you over the top into loopy, grinning, shameless victory is almost irresistible.

Details

In addition to this column,
Rob Brezsny offers
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES
and
DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES
designed to inspire you.

To buy access, go here.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.




PRONOIA Is the Antidote for Paranoia:
How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings

by Rob Brezsny




Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.

Listen to MP3s, read the lyrics, or buy the cd, Give Too Much.




Want to know more about Rob, or look up past horoscopes? Visit freewillastrology.com.

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