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Afghaniscrewed: How I Spent My Fall Vacation

The road leading to Bagram Air Base is a mess. Car-sized craters dot the lane, interspersed with ruts deep enough to get lost in. For stretches, it's hard even to know where the road is as it peters out into expanses of dusty scrubland stretching for miles.

Every few hundred yards, a half-built structure rises from uneven ground. It's impossible to tell whether these buildings are in the middle of construction or demolition.

Filthy children play in their shadows, throwing rocks at crippled dogs and kicking makeshift soccer balls of wadded trash wrapped in string.

It's about half past 9 a.m. as I drive down this road with a man named Farooz, a driver and translator I got in Kabul, the Afghan capital, about 45 minutes behind us.

Through the swirling grit that fills the air, I see large, low shapes before us. A roadblock.

"It's not always like this," Farooz says. "There must be something going on today."

There is. A car-bomb threat has been called in.

A traffic jam of ancient minivans, half-broken pickups, and jingle trucks—transport vehicles adorned with flags, bells, and banners—stands in the dusty sun while U.S. soldiers walk about shouting testily.

"Stay the fuck there!" a soldier growls, pointing an assault rifle at a man on a bicycle. He stops and fixes the soldier with a bored stare.

Farooz pulls around the mass, attempting to jump the line. Two Americans materialize, weapons fixed.

"Are you kidding?!" one of them shouts. "Fucking stop!"

Farooz steers back to the road.

The soldiers retreat to the roadblock behind two massive armored vehicles. Gunners sit atop, helmeted heads rising above .50 caliber machine guns like turtle shells.

Around us, people wait, packed into cars like frogs in a pickle jar. The jingle truck drivers smoke. I step from the car and trudge toward the soldiers.

A young grunt stands calmly in the sun, cradling a machine gun with a grenade launcher attachment. I wave a crumpled piece of paper—my orders—telling him I've been assigned to cover a unit. Any chance I can get through the roadblock?

He ignores the rumpled document and listens implacably behind wraparound shades. I'll have to wait like everyone else, he says, and offers to walk me back to my car.

Just then, a sedan roars around the traffic, bearing down on us in third gear. The soldier shoulders his weapon, pointing at the driver's chest while marching quick-time at the oncoming car.

The soldiers behind us raise their weapons, a dozen barrels following the man on point.

"What the fuck are you doing?" the soldier yells at the car while I step behind him. "Stop now!"

The sedan halts just 10 yards from us. The soldier lowers his machine gun and smiles. "Everybody speaks weapon," he says, chuckling.

So begins my vacation in Afghanistan.

Standing on that sunny road, watching the occupants of that car throw up their hands in stark terror, I begin to doubt the wisdom of my decision. Why didn't I go to Miami?

Like many Americans, I never questioned the justness of our Afghan adventure. Basic logic: We invaded central Asia because of the horrors of 9/11. The Taliban sheltered bin Laden. They let Al Qaeda plot in safety. We had to kick their ass.

But eight years later, we're still there, and I had no idea why. Conversations with smart people in the U.S. got me nowhere. They talked of "geopolitical ramifications" and "bookending Pakistan." What the hell does that mean?

So I decided to go to Afghanistan and see for myself.

The Problem With Afghanistan: It's Full of Afghans.

Saifwah stands on the porch of the Media Operations Center (MOC) at Forward Operating Base Salerno, a frown wrinkling his normally smooth brow. "Walking to my car is very dangerous," he says, staring off toward the parking lot for Afghan employees. "We have a separate entrance, and it's unguarded. We could all be killed by the time soldiers came to help."

Saifwah works in the MOC as a liaison to the Afghan media. He translates Army press releases and monitors newspapers and radio broadcasts. He lives in a nearby village instead of on base, which is only a few miles from the Pakistan border near the town of Khost.

A fastidious, conservative man, Saifwah seems uncomfortable with the soldiers' rough language, and he often gets in heated arguments over the length of women's skirts with Sergeant Barbara Ospina, the public affairs officer who is his boss.

But he has bigger woes than coarse Americans: The mere fact that he works here could mean a death sentence from the Taliban.

At this moment, he's just worried about making it to his car alive. He likes his job and his boss, but thinks the military isn't too concerned about his safety. "They don't care about us," he says. "They don't protect us enough."

It's America's essential problem in Afghanistan: After eight years in the country, even our own employees don't feel we have their best interests at heart.

Other interpreters—"terps"—feel the same way. Some live on Salerno in a cluster of military huts called Terp Village. It's in a far corner of the base, near an open-air market where locals sell rugs, scarves, bootleg DVDs, and hookahs.

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  • prxs 04/28/2009 12:42:00 PM

    "The problem with Afghanistan is the Afghans"?? Hands down the most offensively under-researched, overblown article on Afghanistan that I've ever read. Five pages to recount: one actual witnessed experience; a recap of a standard Army press briefing; one interview with one Afghan; a whole lot of rumours, myths and hearsay, some even borrowed from another journalist. Even the rawest NGO worker manages to read a few policy papers or situation reports before they parachute into a new country - couldn't you bother to do the same before foisting your interpretation on us? Hey, you even had some potentially interesting threads there that didn't get picked up: could it be that while the US soldiers are eating their bountiful $17/plate KBR meals, and the ANA soldiers are making about the same amount of money per week (but are expected to feed themselves and their families 21 times with that same amount), and the children on the road to Bagram are begging for scraps, that perhaps spending a little less money on ice-cream sundaes and a little more money on wells and general welfare might ease local resentment of the US military just a bit?

  • defundthewar 04/07/2009 2:02:00 PM

    We are in Afghanistan to build a pipeline under it. Period. More accurately, the Carlyle Group, big oil and construction are in Afghanistan to build a pipeline under it. The little matter of American kids killed there, or turning that nation into a garbage dump of spent weapons isn't a blip on the screen of those who would profit from the pipeline. It was planned long ago, but the Taliban was in the way. 9/11 was merely an excuse to invade. Different nations have tried to conquer and colonize Afghanistan since the days of Alexander the Great. Most recent to get its ass kicked there was the old Soviet Union. Gosh, President Obama, do you ever get the feeling we're not wanted there, and that you can't win there... whatever winning means at the moment? Ya think?

  • Clive 03/31/2009 3:44:00 AM

    It seems the US Army needs to read "The Art of War" by Sun Tzu and put his ideas into action. Then you'd see some difference. (Sun Tzu apparently trained the emperor's concubines instead of the army, as a demo. He trained them three times and they still couldn't do the drill, so then he executed one of them. They then did the drill perfectly.)

  • Mike 03/30/2009 10:19:00 PM

    That dude on the front cover looks exactly like me

  • Bill 03/27/2009 10:36:00 PM

    With due respect, and as an anti-war combat veteran (many years on now), I wonder how much perspective you got talking to: "...are near the end of their deployment in Afghanistan, where they work office jobs, supply details, and serve long nights on guard duty. The older man is an Army intelligence analyst. His job is to read reports on everything from enemy movements to the weather and pass it up the chain of command. But on this night, he speaks of the sobering difficulty of bringing peace to this land." Did you get into the field? The Taliban and Al Queda might well have shot you merely for being dressed in a western style or being with men who were not blood relatives. Afgahnistan has never been successfully conqured, Afganistan never posed a threat as a government to us, yet we now own the war. To complain about corruption vs. the subjuction of women and the murder of apostates is akin to complaining about an insect bit to a cancer victim. Without opining about the merits of the invasion, you seem to merely have presented us with a personal diary of your vacation.

  • nmjdu 03/26/2009 8:20:00 PM

    Dear Mr. Tobia I read your article in full. Fluff. You did not need to travel to Afginistan to write this. The council on foreign relations could educate you. Read Brezinski's book. I wish the voice would update itself and write within its tradition of excellent investigative journalism. No wonder the paper is free. nmjdu

 

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