The Diss-Track Family Tree

Who to insult, how, and why

Wife/Girlfriend: Another key target—while taking another man's girl has been a part of every generic battle-rap since the dawn of time, these are especially valuable if your enemy is in a weird relationship with an r&b singer. ("That's why I fucked yo' bitch, you fat motherfucker," Tupac, "Hit 'Em Up"; "If you think I'm fucking your wife/You're motherfucking right," Eazy-E, "Niggaz 4 Life"; "I hope your girl get AIDS," Cam'ron, "Hate Music"; "I let your girl suck my dick from the back/And let your moms give me cornrows on my crack," Redman, "Noorotic"; "I get your bitch pregnant/You take the bitch to Lamaze," R.A. the Rugged Man, "American Lowlife.")

Baby Mama: This wickedly unfair stratagem renders your rival responsible for whatever ugly deeds his ex-girl (or just a former jump-off) has done since their breakup. Highly recommended. ("I came in your Bentley backseat/Skeeted in your jeep/Left condoms on your baby seat," Jay-Z, "Super Ugly"; "I got my middle finger up your baby-mama anus, bitch," Baby Beech, "Wiggy Wiggy.")

Tatiana Suarez

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Pet: Only a total monster could hurt someone's ferret. ("Kill my dog, I'm-a slay your cat," Flavor Flav, "Terminator X to the Edge of Panic.")

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