By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] The coming weeks will be a good time to start a band and record an album. Your creativity is waxing, your attunement with the right side of your brain is especially sweet, and you will benefit from anything you do to become less of a spectator and more of a participant. To jumpstart the process, go to Wikipedia and click on "random article." That's the name of your band. Then go to en.wikiquote.org and click on "random page." The last few words of the last quote on that page will be your album's title. Then, go to flckr.com, click on "the last 7 days," and choose a photo from the page to be your CD cover. (My band is Widemouth Blindcat, our album is "More Time for Dreaming," and our cover art is a spiral staircase.)
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] You've said enough for the time being. You have expressed the hell out of yourself and have been thorough in providing your vision of how the efforts should unfold. But now I think you should cultivate the power of silence. Keep your evolving thoughts to yourself for a while so that they can ripen in your imagination, and allow the ideas you have already put out there to fully work their way into the imaginations of others. In early May, it will be time to jump back in with a new dose of your insight and inspiration. By then, people should be begging you for more.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] As a leading practitioner of magical thinking, I regard it as my responsibility to serve as a kind of Quality Control Board. Excessive trust in invisible forces and odd coincidences, after all, can be as hazardous to your intelligence as blind faith in pure reason. This week, in fact, I'd rather see you operate like a scientist than a mystic. I hope you'll evaluate every situation by invoking the powers of unbiased perceptivity and lucid objectivity. So please don't heed anyone's mumbo-jumbo, especially if it's fear-based. Reject supernatural explanations if natural ones make equal sense. Be assured that when superstitious fantasies pop up, they'll have little to do with what's actually happening.
Homework: Go outside at night, make two fists, and punch the sky 10 times while you announce, "Hey, God, listen up! I'm gonna fight for what's rightly mine!"