Miss California Partied Down with a Trannie!

Actually, I never even leave my seat at intermission.

The accolades came down like toppling boulders at the Film Society of Lincoln Center tribute to Tom Hanks, with Steven Spielberg gushing, "He is us, and we are he. He's the legend next door." But it wasn't too hard to find glimmers of a darker, more textured side to the wildly successful everyman. One director admiringly said Tom thinks rehearsals are an egregious waste of time. (And who's going to argue—his co-star, the volleyball?) Sally Field chirped, "Tom is kind of ADD. You have to be very interesting when you talk to him because if a butterfly flies by, he's like, 'Look at that!' " (I'm sensing a trend.) And Charlize Theron sincerely testified, "He was so nice—he called me to let me know he cut me out of that movie." Well, he only cut part of her out of that movie—That Thing You Do—and when Hanks got up to speak, he referenced her other early opus, 2 Days in the Valley, and deadpanned, "It sounds like a lesbian fight film." No, dear, that was Monster.

And finally, while Carrie Prejean—the Miss California traditionalist who favors "opposite" marriage—might not be a monster, she does have some pigheaded ideas to go with her falsies. But at least she once paused to take photos with trannie extraordinaire Amanda Lepore, as uncovered the other day by Us Weekly. I called the trannie—meaning Amanda, not Carrie—to ask what party that was shot at, and she cooed, "I don't remember meeting her. You know how many pictures I take!" Fortunately, Amanda had an opinion of the beauty queen's gay-baiting stance anyway. "That was stupid," said the club diva, who just launched a perfume to go with her doll, Swatch, CD, and vagina. "She could never make a career in TV. Gays monopolize everything! She's a dummy!

"Now she's trying to have churches help her," Amanda went on. "That doesn't sound promising. But at least she has big tits. She can marry a high roller and have miserable kids that hate her." All thanks to opposite marriage!

musto@villagevoice.com

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