By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
ARIES [March 21–April 19] I'm betting that in a couple of months, the fates will give you license to play with boisterous gambles and exhilarating risks. But I recommend that you confine yourself to tame gambles and sensible risks. I realize that may be a bit deflating to your all-or-nothing spirit, but it'll pay off in the long run. This is an excellent time to lay the groundwork for the bigger fun ahead.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] The oracle you're now reading normally has a retail value of $49.95. But because of your efforts to defeat your defeatist tendencies and your heroic stabs at defending yourself against your defense mechanisms, you have earned the right to receive this advice absolutely gratis! To generate even more free stuff in the coming week, all you have to do is learn how to turn around so fast that you can catch a glimpse of the back of your own head, and how to pat yourself on the back with both hands while kicking your own butt.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] Jay Greenberg, 17, is a music prodigy who has written numerous sonatas and symphonies. His first CD, performed by the London Symphony Orchestra and Juilliard String Quartet, came out in 2006. It's not exactly a struggle for him to create his compositions—he often completes them in less than a day. "The music comes fully written," he says, "playing like an orchestra in my head." I believe you now have something in common with him: There will soon be ripe visions of future accomplishments floating around in your imagination. You should write them down or describe them in detail to an ally or do whatever else it takes to launch the process of getting them born.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] "You may want to smash a painful emotion to bits, but you can't blow it up with a nuclear bomb," wrote Tsoknyi Rinpoche in Fearless Simplicity. What makes the situation even more poignant is that the painful emotion may be based on a wrong interpretation of experience or may be caused by some faulty conditioning that got imprinted on your psyche when you were a toddler. Having said that, I'm pleased to inform you that you currently have the power to significantly dissipate the intensity of a certain painful emotion you thought you'd never shake. To initiate the process, invoke forgiveness in every way you can imagine—toward those who hurt you, those who ignored you, those who misled you, and you yourself.
LEO [July 23–August 22] "I can't exactly walk on the water," says Russ Crim, "but it looks like I can because I know where the rocks are hiding just beneath the water." This would be a good trick for you to emulate, Leo. By doing your homework and some advance scouting, you could put yourself in a position to accomplish a bit of hocus-pocus that will ultimately be legendary. To help ensure that you don't generate a karmic backlash as you glorify your ego, I suggest you find a way to make your magic serve some worthy cause. For instance, maybe you could walk on water in order to raise money for charity.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] When I was 19 years old, a so-called psychic predicted I would die when I was 24. As much as I scoffed at his careless quackery, his words worried me for years. On the day I turned 25, I celebrated extra hard. Partly because of that experience, I've tried to be conscientious about how I conduct myself as a fortune teller. I've vowed never to manipulate you with prophecies that could distort your free will. So it's with a cautious sense of responsibility that I offer the following augury: The weeks ahead could be one of the most illuminating and successful times of the last five years.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] I suspect that this is a turning point in your relationship with your fantasies. It's not enough merely to keep musing about them with wistful longing. You can't afford to continue postponing their activation until some mythical future. If you want to keep them from receding into a hazy limbo, you will need to give at least one of them a big push toward becoming a more concrete part of your life. The universe will provide ample assistance if you do give that push.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Attention, all aspiring lottery winners! If you will ever in your life win more than $10 in the lottery, this would probably be the time. I'm not saying you will. I'm simply suggesting that your odds are better than usual. On the other hand, the possibility of a dumb-luck windfall is still rather remote compared to the likelihood of other kinds of financial progress. For instance, there's an excellent chance that you'll stimulate the flow of good fiscal karma if you spend quality time taking inventory of your approach to money and developing a long-term master plan to promote your prosperity.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] Would you say you're closer to the "happy wanderer" model of Sagittarian or the "eternal fugitive" type? Does your motive power usually come from the desire to head in the direction of some attractive destination or to flee from every situation you're nervous about getting hemmed in by? Are you more inclined to shoot at multiple targets, hoping that one of them may turn out to be the correct one for you to aim at? Or do you prefer to identify the best target right from the start, and only then begin shooting? The coming weeks will be an excellent time to meditate on these core Sagittarian issues.