Joan Rivers Rags on Carrie Prejean's Privates!

This barb doll keeps going and going and going

MM: Moving on to Swiss bank accounts: Your feelings on Bernie Madoff? JR: I saw that show Oz. I want to be the woman waiting outside the jail for him with a big bowl of kosher food. MM: Did you invest with the zhlub? JR: I was dying to be on that list. Think of the publicity. I called The New York Times, begging them to say I was on the list. This way, people could say, "Joan isn't cheap—she just doesn't have any money anymore." It would have solved all the times I have to pick up the check. MM: That reminds me—put me on the list for your show at the Gramercy. I'm living for it!

When You Dish Upon a Star

But back to dimples and lollipops for a New York second. At a party for Page Six glam queen Paula Froelich's novel Mercury in Retrograde, Froelich insisted to me that niceness never really went away: "I always thought Manhattan was a small world," she said, "so you can't piss off too many people or it'll bite you back." As usual, I'm the exception to every rule.

The adventures of digit: Rivers
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The adventures of digit: Rivers


La Daily Musto
Mama has his own blog!

The nicest celebrity? "Diane Sawyer!" she gushed. When pre-Post Froelich worked at the Lobster Club and everything was going wrong one night, Sawyer was so comforting that "she made me cry. I think she even tipped me a tenner."

And the worst? Pause. "It's hard for me to deal with sheer narcissism and nastiness," admitted Froelich. "You see a lot of that in the celebrity world, with people who are insecure and haven't been raised properly to know how to behave." Yeah, but names, darling, names. "I was never impressed with someone like Kimora Lee Simmons," she complied. "You watch her show and go, 'Wow. This is a self-absorbed person.' Or Russell Crowe, who brained a hotel worker with a telephone. Picking on the little person isn't a good thing." That's bad news for Annie Douche.

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