By Keegan Hamilton
By Albert Samaha
By Village Voice staff
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
ARIES [March 21–April 19] Spencer Pratt used to be skeptical about the power of prayer. But his wife, Heidi, urged him to keep his mind open. As an experiment, Spencer asked God to help him and Heidi get a double date with teen pop star Miley Cyrus and her boyfriend, despite the fact that neither of them even knew Cyrus. Apparently, God heard and responded, because soon the hoped-for double date did indeed happen. I'm telling you this, Aries, because I think you're entering a phase in which you, like Pratt, will have extra luck in making wishes come true. If I were you, though, I'd focus on more profound wishes than the kind Pratt pined for.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] Do you have a subconscious urge to escape the constraints of your customary behavior? Have you ever wished you could be someone else for a while? If so, this is your lucky week. The cosmos is granting you a temporary exemption from acting like your same old self. From now until July 2, you have permission to walk like, think like, and even make love like a Pisces or Gemini—or any sign, for that matter, except Scorpio or Aquarius. You might enjoy checking out my horoscopes for the other signs.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] It's "Fete Your Feet Week," Gemini. Your soles definitely need more attention and contact with nature. (So does your soul.) So abstain from wearing your shoes and socks at every opportunity. Get as much contact as possible between your naked feet and the earth. Even walking unshod on floors and pavements could prove helpful. Foot massages are advisable, as well as pedicures, henna tattoos, and foot baths. Try praying with your feet instead of your hands, and see if you can get someone to kiss and adore you down there.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] "His heart was growing full of broken wings and artificial flowers," wrote Federico García Lorca. "In his mouth, just one small word was left." There were times during the first half of June when I was tempted to borrow those words to describe you. Now, , you're moving into a much brighter phase. The buds that are about to bloom in your heart are very much alive, and your wings, while not fully restored to strength, are healing. Meanwhile, your mouth is even now being replenished with a fresh supply of many vivid words.
LEO [July 23–August 22] What scares you in the coming week could, by August, become what fuels you. What makes you feel unsettled and out of sorts could turn out to be good medicine. But, of course, you're under no obligation to submit yourself to this experimental sequence, Leo. The fact is, you could probably run away from the discomfort and get immediate relief. Unfortunately, taking that approach would deprive you of the benefits that will almost certainly come from enduring the discomfort for a while. My preference is that you be brave.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] There's a better than even chance that you're about to embark on a Summer of Love. To improve your odds even more, meditate on the following questions: 1) What qualities do you look for in a lover that you would benefit from developing more fully in yourself? 2) What do you think are your two biggest delusions about the way love works? 3) Is there anything you can do to make yourself more lovable? 4) Is there anything you can do to be more loving? 5) Are you willing to deal with the fact that any intimate relationship worth pursuing will inevitably evoke the most negative aspects of both partners—and require both partners to heal their oldest wounds?
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] You are entering a phase when you'll have more power than usual to influence people. Your powers of persuasion will be increasing as well, and you'll have extra understanding about how to motivate people and get them to work together effectively. So let me ask you the most important question: What exactly do you want to accomplish with your enhanced clout?
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Congratulations, Scorpio. You've reached the end of the Big Squeeze. You've served your time in the bottleneck. And so I invite you to relax your pinched expression and let the Season of Experiments begin. According to my projections, you will soon be receiving a host of invitations to wander into the frontier with your raw sense of wonder turned up all the way. Please research each invitation thoroughly before choosing. When you've decided which adventures are most likely to enhance your understanding of the art of liberation, dive in.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] A guy I barely know critiqued me at a party recently. "You haven't suffered enough to feel intense passion," he said. "Your life has been too happy, too easy." I didn't want to get into a debate about whether my life has been too easy, so in my reply, I didn't mention my divorce or the time I was shot or the poverty I endured for 18 years. "So you're saying," I told him, "that suffering is the only way you can acquire passion? I don't agree. Have you ever been in love with someone who incited you to make radical changes in your life? Have you ever worked on a creation for many years and then submitted it to be judged by thousands of people? I have." I'm letting you know about this, because I predict you'll soon be offered an experience like those I named—adventures that have the potential to build passion without requiring you to suffer.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] "The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows," said journalist Sydney J. Harris. That would be an excellent motto for you to live by in the coming weeks. Whether or not you're enrolled in school, you're in a phase when your capacity for attracting learning experiences is at a peak. To take advantage of the cosmic tendencies, all you have to do is cultivate a hungry curiosity for fresh teachings and life lessons—especially those that shift you away from gazing at your own reflection and toward peering out at the mysteries of the world.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Here's a preview of the accomplishments I expect you to complete in the next four weeks. Number of karmic debts paid off and canceled: 1. Number of bad habits replaced with good habits: 2. Number of holes blasted in your theory about why you can't do more of what you love to do: 300. Number of "necessities" lost that turn out not to be necessities: 1. Number of psychic wounds successfully medicated: 1. Number of confusing messes that evolve into interesting opportunities: 2. Number of romantic obstructions eliminated: 1 and a half.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] A forbidden fruit will be available in the coming weeks. You can choose to ignore it, of course. You can pretend it's not even there and instead concentrate on the less forbidden fruits that are tasty enough. Or you can sidle up closer to the forbidden fruit and engage in some discreet explorations, testing subtly to see whether it's any healthier for your sanity than it used to be. I'm not sure what the best decision is, Pisces, but I do suggest this: Don't just rip off all your defenses, forget all your commitments, and start heedlessly taking big bites out of the forbidden fruit.
Homework: Send me a description of your game plan for hunting down happiness during the second half of 2009. FreeWillAstrology.com.