CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] I don't care what you feel this week, as long as you don't feel nothing. Get inflamed with hunger or justice or sadness or beauty or love, but don't submit to apathy. Don't let yourself be shunted into numbness. You can't afford to be cut off from the source of your secret self, even if it means having to feel like hell for a while. And the odd thing is that if you're willing to go through hell, you won't have to go through hell. So to hell with your poker face and neutrality and dispassionate stance. Be a wild thing, not a mild thing.

AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Most modern critics regard The Iliad as a foundation stone of Western literature. In my opinion, though, it's just a tale of macho haters who are inflamed with pride and can't stop killing each other. I share the perspective of poet Diane di Prima, who once had a dream in which the Iliad was cast as gangsta rap. Now please adopt the style of our critique for use in your own life, Aquarius. What supposedly noble or important situation is actually pretty trivial or clichéd? It's time for you to tell the truth about the hype.

PISCES [February 19–March 20] "May you live in interesting times" is actually a droll curse meant to be heaped upon an enemy. "Interesting" implies rapid change and constant adjustment. What's preferable is to live during a boring era when stability reigns. But I reject that line of thought. I celebrate the fact that we're embroiled in interesting times. I proclaim our struggles to navigate the sharp turns to be a jubilee of the first degree. May we be up to the task of bringing heaven down to earth. Now get out there, Pisces, and enjoy the hell out of the epic and entertaining drama we're stewarding. This is your time to be a leader and a luminary.

Homework: Write a parable or fairy tale about what your life has been like so far in 2009.

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