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Death to Cupcakes

When will we finally be rid of the little bastards?

We sampled a cupcake from each of the bakeries—I had bought a vanilla-vanilla version from each as a control, as well as a more interesting flavor or two. We especially liked Baked's vanilla treat (pronounced "perfect" by the Cake Tsar) and Sugar Sweet Sunshine's pistachio number. Tonnie's Minis' vanilla offering was passed around for shock value, as it seemed to be infused with a vile, vaguely piña colada flavor. But in the end, sugared up, lying on the floor and drinking vodka tonics, we were neither impressed nor unimpressed. A cupcake is just a cupcake.

Except when it's a bejeweled cupcake. For a kick (or a downer), Google "diamond cupcake," and see how many women take their bling in dessert form. In fact, musician Pharrell Williams has just collaborated with artists Takashi Murakami and Jacob the Jeweler to create a golden, diamond-encrusted cupcake. But Williams was keeping it real on Vernissage TV, saying, "For me, the taste of cupcakes is worth far more than diamonds could ever be." More diamonds for the rest of us.

sdigregorio@villagevoice.com

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