By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] Ideally, you wouldn't even be reading this. You'd be white-water rafting along the Franklin River in Tasmania, or riding on "the train at the end of the world" in Tierra del Fuego, or observing Golden Bamboo lemurs in the rainforest of southeastern Madagascar. Ideally, you'd be far away from any newspaper that carries my column. In fact, you'd be out of touch with all media, period. But since you are reading this, you must not be doing the ideal thing. So please do the next best thing: Flee as far as possible from your usual haunts, your habitual influences, and your customary comforts.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] Make sure that no one except you will be able to tear asunder what you join together in the coming days. Tie knots that will never slip. Build bridges that can't be burned. Send e-mails that cement new alliances, and plug yourself into networks that are crackling with high-energy connections. Stock up on safety pins, staples, nails, tape, and glue. Be sticky, Capricorn! Just one caution: Do not marry your fortunes to people unless they are willing to be your devoted, synergistic warrior as much as you are their devoted, synergistic warrior.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] Don't whine and complain just because your guardian angel seems to be driving hard bargains lately. You're actually on better speaking terms now than you've been in some time. Before the sweeter talk can begin, though, the two of you still have to work out kinks left over from previous miscommunications. Besides, there's a method in your guardian angel's madness, a reason why she or he is driving hard bargains: She or he is testing you to see if you're willing and able to stretch your imagination to accommodate the rowdier blessings you'll soon be tempted with.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] Underdogs are on an upsurge. Topdogs are on a downswing. The rebels have something resembling God on their side. The masters merely have money and propaganda. It'll be an excellent week to launch strikes, boycotts, and protests. It'll be prime time to say no to smiling manipulators. The best efforts, whether coming from you or the people you want to be close to, will always have at least a tinge of cheekiness. So now that you've read my spiel, please answer me this: Are you going to sit there passively and grin as some feel-good tyrant tries to break off a chunk of your soul?
Homework: Tell yourself the secret you've been hiding from yourself. Give yourself the pleasure you've been denying yourself for no good reason. Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.