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The Blue Tooth Virgin
Directed by Russell Brown
Regent Releasing
Opens September 25

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• Film
  February 8, 2005

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• Russell Brown
• Bryce Johnson
• Austin Peck

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For anyone who has ever hated a movie because it's too "arty" or "edgy," here comes The Blue Tooth Virgin to agree with you and argue that anything remotely nonpopulist is crap. David (Bryce Johnson) is a successful magazine editor; his friend, Sam (Austin Peck), is a screenwriter whose career has stalled after a "critically acclaimed" one-season TV show (critical praise = kiss of death). Sam has written a screenplay about a woman who morphs into different people, aided by a hermaphrodite shrink and a mute detective. In case we don't get that this is pretentious bullshit, Sam mentions how much he likes Bergman's Persona. Later, to hammer it home, he admits that he's been trying to be a cooler person by succumbing to peer pressure by seeing "art films" and listening "to certain bands that actually suck." It's true: Everything that isn't popular is terrible! David discusses the script with a neighbor: "What's it about?" "I don't know." "Are there characters?" "I'm not sure." "Well, it sounds like an indie film." OOH, BURN. Now, how will David tell Sam his script sucks? Comedy! To make sure this whole endeavor doesn't turn into something approaching "arty"/"edgy," writer/director Russell Brown makes it like a dreary sitcom. This is self-vindicating L.A. narcissism that tries even less hard than usual.