By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES [March 21–April 19] Is the electron a wave or a particle? Physicists had to conduct many experiments to arrive at the answer: It's both. In other words, the solution to one of the fundamental questions about the nature of reality is a paradox. This suggests that the correct response to many other riddles about the ultimate truth might be two opposing explanations. Could the Unitarians and Buddhists both be right? Mystics and scientists? You will be offered lots of practice in adopting this approach as you deal with a personal dilemma that's very much akin to "Is the electron a wave or a particle?"
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] Have you ever mused on the fact that your body is actually a kind of furnace? Food and oxygen are constantly combusting inside you, generating energy that fuels your every movement and thought. This awareness of fire as vitality, not a destroyer, would be valuable for you to cultivate. Your steady, earthy rhythm needs a shot of radiance and luminosity and fervor.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] Several couples I know keep lists of the five celebrities they'd be allowed to boink if the chance ever presented itself. My friend, Jim, for instance, will incur no karmic repercussions with his girlfriend, Alicia, if he ever spends a night of carnal delight with Lady Gaga, Sarah Silverman, Karen O, Shakira, or Halle Berry. Alicia is permitted to enjoy liaisons with Johnny Depp, Chris Rock, Marilyn Manson, Jimmy Fallon, and Portia de Rossi. I believe you'll soon be the beneficiary of some cosmic luck that could offer you a brush with an exotic form of pleasure. This might not exactly take the form of a one-night stand with a famous fox, but it could be almost as extraordinary.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] I'm happy you're getting back to fundamentals and shedding pretensions and nourishing your roots, but I also want to make sure that you don't get too funky and lowdown. I'd hate to have to be counseling you on how to cover for the fact that you've compromised your own highest standards. So please resist any temptations you might feel to descend toward the lowest common denominator. As you deepen your center of gravity, make sure you keep your attitude elevated.
LEO [July 23–August 22] "I may not love you," wrote R.R. Doister, "but I can certainly love my fantasy about you." Personally, I've been guilty of embodying that attitude toward people in my life. There have also been allies to whom I could have said, "I do love you, although I love my fantasy about you a little more." And I've been proud to declare, "I love you even more than I love my fantasy about you." What about you, Leo? This is an excellent time to get on the righteous side of the great divide, which is to say: Adore your special people for who they really are more than for your fantasies about them.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] In a puckish fantasy, the poet Linh Dinh imagined a scenario in which it would be uncool to be too cool. "In an effort to inject more pep and resolve into its lethargic citizens," he waxed, "the government is mandating the use of an exclamation mark at the end of each sentence, spoken or written: 'It looks like rain!,' for example, or 'I must sleep!' " I suggest you take his vision, and turn it into reality for the future! Who knows, maybe a simple thing like imagining every one of your sentences ending with an exclamation mark could make your whole being more thrillable!
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] Is there a big difference between your current job and your beloved career? Are you under the impression that your main reason for being here on Earth may reveal itself at some unknown time in the future, but not anytime soon? If you answered no to all those questions, congrats! You are more than halfway toward living a victorious life. But if you answered yes to at least one question, it's high time to take action. Start by formulating an intention to find out what you need to know in order to deal with the problem more aggressively. The cosmic forces are arrayed in such a way as to reward you for doing so.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] The Indian guru known as Amma has hugged over 30 million people during her three-decade career. I've known people who've received blessings from her, and they tell me that she can magically undo your karmic knots with her spiritual power, freeing you from having to suffer indefinitely for the bad decisions you made in the past. Amma rarely does a complete unraveling of all karmic knots in one sitting, however. Your negative conditioning might be holding you together, after all, and a sudden super-fix could cause you to fall apart. That's the situation I suspect is true for you right now, Scorpio: You'll be wise to undo some, but not all, of your karmic knots.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] The coming week will have something to offend and agitate everyone—except you. Whines and moans and yelps will ring out across the land, even as you're emanating poise and aplomb. You may be tempted to brazenly exploit everyone's vulnerability and seize control of your corner of the world, but I think that would be shortsighted of you. A better strategy for capitalizing on your advantage would be to dole out large doses of mercy, making sure that the people who will be important to your future don't lose their way.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] "The bear must deal with 20 obstacles, and each one of them involves pears," says the Sufi proverb, "because the bear adores pears." That's a twisty truth worth meditating on, Capricorn. I suspect that the gifts coming your way will bring their own unique problems; the dreams you're in love with will generate new dilemmas to solve. By no means does this imply that you should avoid accepting the gifts or pursuing your dreams. Part of the fun of doing great things is dealing with the changes they generate!
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] On behalf of all us non-Aquarians, I'd like to express our appreciation for the experiments you've been performing. Please don't be discouraged just because the results thus far have been inconclusive and left you feeling a trifle rudderless. We feel confident that, sooner or later, you'll come up with discoveries that will have bottom-line value to both you and the rest of us. We'd also like to apologize for the shortsighted and timid types among us who are accusing you of being unrealistic or overly optimistic. Please keep trying those novel approaches and making those imaginative forays.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] While reviewing the work of Angelina Jolie in the film Taking Lives, A.O. Scott called her "the flesh-and-blood actress most likely to be mistaken for a computer-generated special effect." I don't expect you to rival Jolie's odd talent, but I wonder if maybe you'll be seeing a lot of that kind of stuff in the world around you. Some of the characters who will be advancing the plotlines in your life story may seem to be able to breathe fire, walk through walls, or change the weather at will. At the very least, you'll witness phenomena that resemble optical illusions. My advice: Try to get these exotic outbreaks to work for you rather than against you. Embrace them, don't fear them.
Homework: Are you doing anything in particular to kill the apocalypse and usher in the Great Awakening? Testify at FreeWillAstrology.com.