By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
By Raillan Brooks
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] When Sheelah Ryan won $55 million in the lottery, she used the money to create an organization dedicated to helping the disadvantaged. "I guess I've disappointed a lot of people," she told a reporter. "I could be traveling all over the world, or have a beautiful mansion on the ocean. But that's not my style." She's your role model for the coming weeks, Capricorn. When good fortune comes to you—and I'm almost positive it will—I recommend that you look for ways to share it. The ironic fact of the matter is that if you're generous as you tap in to your gift, there'll be more of the gift.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] When I did a performance in Santa Fe a few years ago, a woman came up to me after the show and made a proposal: Would I like to join her 12-step program for writers who are overly fond of vivid adjectives and adverbs? With all the uppity mock politeness I could summon, I told her that I was preposterously happy with my scintillating addiction to brazen language, and didn't regard it as a raggedy problem that needed invasive correcting. Now I'm advising you to be like me and follow your heart when it tells you to be bigger, bolder, and brasher than ever before. Right now, shiny intensity is your sacred duty! Halloween costume suggestion: the sun.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] I hope you won't merely wander around the frontier. I hope you'll undertake a meticulous yet expansive exploration of that virgin territory. Here are some tips on how to proceed: 1) Formulate specific questions about what you're looking for. 2) Develop a hypothesis for the experiments you want to carry out. 3) Ignore what doesn't interest you and pounce only on what stirs your fascination. Halloween costume suggestion: an alien anthropologist visiting Earth from another planet; a time-traveler from the future who's doing a documentary on this historical moment; a religious pilgrim who's keeping a detailed journal.
Homework: What is your greatest fear? Make fun of it this Halloween. Tell me about it on my Facebook page.