By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES [March 21–April 19] A whitewash happens when you use deceit to cover up the facts about a situation. A blackwash is the opposite: It's when you invoke candor as you reveal complications that have been veiled. The coming weeks will be prime time to enjoy blackwashing, but I suggest you proceed gently. Remember that not all hidden information is a sign of evil intentions. Sometimes, the truth is so paradoxical and nuanced that it's hard to get it completely out in the open all at once. And sometimes people are motivated to keep things secret mostly because they're afraid to cause pain.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] "Dear Rob: I've read horoscope columns written by many astrologers, and yours is the only one that's not prejudiced against at least one of the signs. You play no favorites. But that's exactly the bone I have to pick with you. I'm wondering if you've got a passion deficiency or something. It seems abnormal not to display a hint of bias now and then. —Suspicious Taurus." Dear Suspicious: My own birth chart includes elements of both Taurus and Libra. The Taurus part of me has strong feelings, while the Libra part of me is fair-minded and well-balanced. They've worked out a synergistic arrangement that allows me to maintain my equilibrium as I feed my intensity. I recommend this approach to you right now.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] Personally, I've never been smart about making investments. At least in that area of my life, my intuition seems to work in reverse. I often do the wrong thing at the wrong time. Billionaire businessman George Soros, on the other hand, is a genius. When facing a decision about which way to go financially, he says he becomes a jungle animal guided by actual sensations in his body. You Geminis have arrived at a phase when your choices could have long-term effects on your relationship with money. According to my reading of the astrological omens, you've got the potential to be like Soros, instead of like me. Trust your instincts.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] This will be a smooth, easy, and graceful week for you—if you get yourself out of the way and allow the universe to do its job. Can you do that? It doesn't mean you should be passive or blank. On the contrary, in order for the cosmos to perform its magic, you should be on the lookout for what captivates your imagination and be primed to jump when life says, "Jump!" Be both relaxed and alert, receptive and excitable, surrendered to the truth and in intimate contact with your primal power. Then the song will sing itself. The dream will interpret itself. The beauty will reveal itself.
LEO [July 23–August 22] Mathematician Charles Babbage (1791–1871) is considered a "father of the computer." He created a calculator that was a forerunner of the magical device that's so indispensable today. And yet Babbage had other obsessions that were not as useful. For his own amusement, he once counted all of the panes of glass that had been broken in a factory over a period of 10 months, and investigated the cause of each break. He also spent an inordinate amount of time estimating the statistical probability that the miracles reported in the Bible had actually occurred. I bring this up, Leo, in the hope that you will concentrate on your own equivalent to Babbage's calculator, and not get sidetracked by meditations on broken glass and Biblical miracles.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] "Everything that emancipates the spirit without giving us control over ourselves is harmful," said Goethe. Luckily, Virgo, you're in the midst of a process that may emancipate your spirit and give you more control over yourself. Here are two ways you could cash in on this potential: 1) Brainstorm about a big dream even as you attend to the gritty details of making the dream a reality. 2) Expand your imagination about your tricky situation even as you burn away the illusions you have about your tricky situation.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] Have you heard about chess boxing? Two competitors play chess for four minutes, then put on boxing gloves and try to punch each other for three minutes; they continue this rhythm for up to 11 rounds. I suspect you'll soon be asked to meet a similar challenge, going back and forth between two contrasting modes. If you treat this challenge as a fun game rather than a crazy-making exertion, you'll do fine.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Elly Deacon, a 13-year-old girl, shocked everyone by winning a plowing contest in England: She drove a 12,000-pound tractor and pulled a five-furrow plow. Even more remarkable: She was a newcomer with less than a week's experience in the fine art of tilling the soil with a giant machine. She's your role model for the coming week, Scorpio. Like her, you have the potential to perform wonders, even if you're a rookie, as you prepare a circumscribed area for future growth.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] I hope that you have finished scrabbling on your hands and knees over hot shards of broken glass. The final phase of your redemptive quest should be less torturous. In this upcoming chapter, the operative metaphor might be assembling a jigsaw puzzle with 200 pieces, all of which are red. You actually have it in you to accomplish this improbable feat—as long as you don't spread out the puzzle pieces all over the burning hot shards of broken glass. Find a nice, clean, quiet place to do your work.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] According to psychologist Carl Jung, one of the most potent influences that our parents have on us is their unlived lives. Whatever dreams they didn't pursue are likely to worm their way into our core, often without our conscious awareness. There, they get mixed up with our own dreams and longings, causing us confusion about what we really want. The coming weeks will be a good time for you to get clear about this. You'll have the power to untangle your own deepest, truest desires from the muffled wishes your mommy and daddy deposited in you.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] "Awesome" has become a commonplace word that is used to express gladness about small triumphs and simple pleasures. Today, a woman at a café uttered an "Awesome!" when someone pointed out to her where she could find an outlet to plug in her laptop. Back in the old days, however, "awesome" was a portentous term invoked only rarely. "Awe" referred to an overwhelming feeling of wonder, inspiration, or even agitation in the face of a sublime or numinous experience. I expect you will experience more than your usual quota of both kinds of awesome.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] According to Leonardo da Vinci, you could magnify the power of your prayers by bathing in purple light. Back in his time, this was easiest to accomplish by standing near a church's stained-glass window that was tinted purple. Today, you can get the same effect with the help of a purple light bulb. Alternately, you could simply close your eyes and visualize yourself surrounded by a shimmering purple glow. PS: Experts in color theory say that purple nurtures the development of the imagination, which would be of great value to you as you tone and firm your devotional impulses.
Homework: You're invited to celebrate Unhappy Hour, a ritual that gives you a license to whine and howl. Go here: http://bit.ly/28nbB9.