CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] In a version of the tale of Pinocchio, friendly woodpeckers chiseled his nose to its original size after it had grown enormous from his lying. From a metaphorical perspective, a comparable development may soon occur in your own life. A benevolent (if somewhat rough) intervention akin to the woodpeckers' assistance will shrink an overgrown, top-heavy part of your attitude, allowing you to proceed to the next chapter of your story with streamlined grace.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18] "There is light enough for those who wish to see," wrote French philosopher Blaise Pascal, "and darkness enough for those of the opposite disposition." I'm hoping you will align yourself with the first group in the coming week, Aquarius. More than ever before, what you choose to focus on will come rushing in to meet you, touch you, teach you, and prompt you to respond. Even if all the smart people you know seem to be drunk on the darkness, I encourage you to be a brave rebel who insists on equal time for the light.
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700.
Revised and expanded 2009 edition of Pronoia Is the Antidote for Paranoia: How the Whole World Is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings
Check out Rob's band World Entertainment War.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] White dwarfs are small and dense stars. They're typically no bigger than the Earth, but as heavy as the sun. You currently have a resemblance to one of those concentrated balls of pure intensity. I have rarely seen you offering so much bang for the buck. You are as flavorful as chocolate mousse, as piercing as the scent of eucalyptus, as lustrous as a fireworks display on a moonless night. Personally, I'm quite attracted to your saucy and zesty emanations, and I think most people with strong egos will be. But some underachievers with lower self-esteem may regard you as being more like astringent medicine. My advice: Gravitate toward those who like you to be powerful.
Homework: Meditate on the difference between your fearful fantasies and your intuitions. For inspiration, listen to my free podcast at http://bit.ly/unqAj.
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