By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES [March 21–April 19] "Indignation is one of the most rewarding of emotions," writes Theodore Dalrymple, "as well as one that automatically gives meaning to life. . . . There is nothing like irritation to get the juices circulating and the mind working." Of all the ideas that have made me irritable and indignant in recent weeks, this one steams me the most. I disagree so completely that I am practically beside myself with paralyzing rage. And as I plunge my attention further and further into his ridiculous proposal, I feel the tension coursing through my body. There's a good chance that I am inducing a state of stressed-out stupidity. Please don't follow my example, Aries. It's possible that sour fury could be useful to you at other times, but right now, you should avoid it. If you want your intelligence to work at peak efficiency in the coming days, you'll need long stretches of tender, lucid calm.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] You have definitely acquired more power in 2009. Whether that means you are now sitting in a corner office bossing around a gaggle of subordinates, I don't know. What I do know is that you are in greater charge of your own destiny. You are smarter about providing yourself with what you need, when you need it. You have gained access to enormous new reserves of willpower, in part by harnessing the energy of your obsessive tendencies. More than ever before, you're making decisions based on what's good for you rather than on your unconscious compulsions.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] I trust you've traveled all over creation in 2009—or have at least exposed yourself to a range of novel sights and sounds near your home turf. I pray that you've escaped one shrunken niche, two narrow perspectives, and three low expectations. I'm also hoping that, in these past 12 months, you have sought out breathtaking vistas that have inspired you to see the big picture of your unfolding destiny. If you haven't been doing these things with the eager abandon you should have, please take the next flight to the other side of the world. Eat unfamiliar food, meet people who are very different from you, listen to strange music, climb a mountain, and get your mind blown.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] So how are you doing with your year-long resurrection project, Cancerian? Have you been taking care of the finishing touches? If not, do so soon. It's high time for you to officially and definitively rise from the dead. Your wandering in the underworld is at an end. Your mourning for broken dreams should be complete. In January, the age of exploration will begin; make sure your reborn spunk is ready for action by then.
LEO [July 23–August 22] I bet your relationship life will be a source of revolutionary teachings in 2010. Adventures in intimacy and partnership will draw you into some highly educational fun and games. You will also be asked to dig deeper to discover your real desires, which up until now have been partially camouflaged by more superficial longings that were grafted onto you during the darker days of adolescence. How should you prepare for the interesting tests of the next 12 months? How can you get yourself in shape to earn the demanding gifts that will be within reach? Now is an excellent time to start thinking about those questions.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] Whenever the tide goes out, the creek I live next to loses a lot of its water to the bay. From a distance, the mud looks like a wet, black desert, but if you get up close, you'll see it's covered with tiny furrows, pits, and bulges. This is evidence that many small creatures live there, although only the hungry ducks and egrets know exactly where to look to find them. Be like those birds, Virgo. As you survey your version of the mud flat, ignore anyone who tells you that it's barren. Go searching for the rich pickings.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] It seems to me that you've learned to love the fact that all the world's a stage. You've expressed yourself with the zeal of a skilled actor in a theatrical production. I have very much enjoyed seeing you reveal the full range of your inner riches. If I were going to award Oscars to the astrological signs, you Libras would get the prize for "Best Performance of One's True Self."
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] "The nature of the work is to prepare for a good accident," said Sidney Lumet. He was talking about the craft of creating movies, but he could have also been advising you on how to make the most of the coming week. Your task, as I see it, is to set in order everything that can be set in order. Get very organized. Make sure you're well-rehearsed. Be warmed up and highly alert. That way, you'll be ready to respond with graceful intensity when serendipitous opportunities arise within the framework you've put in place.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] One of your top accomplishments in 2009 is the way you have united parts of yourself that had not previously been very well connected. It seems you decided that you were tired of being split up into fragmented sub-personalities that had different agendas. Somehow, you managed to convince them all to work together in a common cause. Now I'm quite impressed with the new spirit of cooperation that's at work in your depths. I predict it will lead to an unprecedented singleness of purpose in 2010.