Queer as Folk Star Goes Lesbian!

Plus, which Tiger Woods mistress is trailer-ier?

Moving on to Oscar bait, Brothers is a powerful drama about the line between heroism and immorality, as played out by two diametrically opposed siblings. Just as dramatically, the film's machismo-obsessed dad, Sam Shepard, scared the bejesus out of me at a Monkey Bar lunch for the film. "Was it frightening to delve into such a dark character?" I asked him, routinely enough. "That's a question?" Shepard replied, looking stymied. "Well, is your character acting out of his own insecurity?" I wondered, nervously switching gears. "That's not really a question," Shepard insisted, as I sweated cannonballs. Weighted pause. "Look, I don't come at it from a psychological angle," he tried to explain, "but from a storytelling angle. I'm not a method actor. Does that make sense?" I should have said, "Is that a question?" but I simply muttered, "Sure" and crawled back to my table.

And now, these aren't questions coming at you—just some quick gossip bites, so don't feel the need to answer: I hear Brooke Shields just had a meeting with John Kander and all that jazz. . . . Less felicitously, Chris Penn's final movie, Aftermath, will not see the light of day, as crazed co-star Anthony Michael Hall is officially telling people. Some aftermath! . . . But other cinema ops appear to be popping up for scandal stars. Way back on October 8, I said on TV, "I think Levi Johnston would be great in a John Waters movie or in The Big Bang Theory." Well, call me Mr. Magorium because Waters just announced that he wants Levi in his next movie! Big Bang folks, you're next.

But the most cinematic development of the week was the battle royale for media attention conducted by Tiger Woods's top two mistresses, Rachel Uchitel and Jaimee Grubbs. Here's the plot, as I saw it: Rachel got huge coverage swearing she'd never bedded Tiger, but a PR minute later, she got kicked to the curb in favor of the aptly named Grubbs, who whored out her soiled Gap dress—I mean her old phone tape—plus some truthful information. So Uchitel suddenly decided she did sleep with Tiger and planned a gala press conference to spill about how she was telling all for cash. But just as rapidly, she canceled the conference to negotiate a way higher amount, namely hush money. (I guess dough trumps fame, though Rachel usually strives for both.) All this as the wife was negotiating a bigger salary to stay with her slimy man for another season. Classy people, right out of Chicago. They're the women I call trailer home.

musto@villagevoice.com

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