By Keegan Hamilton
By Albert Samaha
By Village Voice staff
By Tessa Stuart
By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
ARIES [March 21–April 19] I don't understand why the astronomers responsible for naming newfound objects are so devoid of flair. Here's a prime example: They found a blazar in a faraway galaxy, powered by a black hole that's 10 billion times larger than our sun. Why did they give this fantastic oddity the boring name "Q0906+6930"? Couldn't they have called it something like "Queen Anastasia" or "Gastromopolopolis"? I trust you won't be as lazy in your approach to all the discoveries you're going to make in 2010. Start getting your imagination in top shape. Make sure it's primed and ready for your upcoming walkabout to the far reaches of reality.
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] Scientists say that everywhere you go on this planet, you are within three feet of a spider. That will be an especially useful and colorful truth for you to keep in mind during 2010. Hopefully, it'll inspire you to take maximum advantage of your own spider-like potentials. It's going to be web-spinning time, Taurus: an excellent phase in your long-term life cycle to weave an extended network—with you at the hub—that will help you catch an abundance of the resources you need.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] I don't normally recommend that you worry too much about what others think of you. In 2010, however, you could benefit from thinking about that subject more than usual. I suspect that you'll be able to correct misunderstandings that have negatively affected your reputation. You might even have the power to shift people's images of you so that they're in alignment with the truth about who you are. Here's the best news: You may be more popular than you've ever been.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] I'm hoping that you will get out more in 2010. And I mean way out. Not just out to the unexplored hot spots on the other side of town (although that would be good), but also out to marvelous sanctuaries on the other side of paradise. Not just out to the parts of the human zoo where you feel right at home, but also out to places in the urban wilderness where you'll encounter human types previously unknown to you. In conclusion, traveler, let me ask you this: What was the most kaleidoscopic trip you've ever taken? Consider the possibility of surpassing it in the next 12 months.
LEO [July 23–August 22] Physicist Max Planck knew that in his field, like most others, ingenious innovation doesn't automatically rise to the top. The advancement of new ideas is hampered by the conservatism of scientists. "A new scientific truth does not triumph by convincing its opponents and making them see the light," he wrote, "but rather because its opponents eventually die, and a new generation grows up that is familiar with it." In 2010, there'll be a similar principle at work. Influences that have been impeding the emergence of excellence will burn out or lose their mojo. As a result, you'll be able to express and take advantage of innovations that have previously been quashed.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] Twenty-two percent of American right-wing fundamentalists believe that Barack Obama is the Anti-Christ. But 73 percent of the people who read my horoscopes think that if there were such a thing as an Anti-Christ, he would be an American right-wing fundamentalist. But I'd like to discourage speculations like that among the Virgo tribe in 2010. You should take a year off from getting worked up about your version of the devil. Whatever you tend to fault as the cause of the world's problems, give your blame mechanism a rest. As much as possible, create for yourself an Enemy-Free Zone.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] I'm hoping that 2010 will be the year you do whatever it takes to fall more deeply in love with the work you do. I'd like to see you reshape the job you have so that it better suits your soul's imperatives. Or consider looking for or even creating a new job. The cosmos will be conspiring to help you accomplish this. Both hidden and not-so-hidden helpers will be nudging you to earn your livelihood in ways that serve your highest ideals and make you feel at peace with your destiny.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] "It Don't Mean a Thing (If It Ain't Got That Swing)" was composed in 1931 by Duke Ellington and Irving Mills. I propose that we make that title your motto in 201—the standard you'll refer to as you evaluate which experiences you want to pursue and which you don't. Please proceed on the assumption that you should share your life energy with people and situations that make your soul sing and tingle and swing.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] I hope you will get more sleep in 2010. And embark on some regimen like meditation that will reduce your stress levels. I hope you will learn a lot more about what makes your body function at optimum levels, and I hope you will diligently apply what you learn. That doesn't mean I think you should be an obsequiously well-behaved pillar of the community. On the contrary, what I'm envisioning is that by taking better care of yourself, you will make yourself strong enough to run wilder and freer.