Sandra Bullock Drops From View!

Person-to-person with Sully Sullenberger, Michael Fassbender.

I simply adore The New York Times Arts & Leisure Weekend events because some other journalist has to work his or her ass off onstage, interviewing a cultural figure for 75 minutes as I simply lean back in the audience and jot down the highlights.

On Saturday, editor Lynn Hirschberg grilled the gifted Liev Schreiber about Arthur Miller's A View From the Bridge, in which he's a repressed dock worker having, let's say, complicated feelings for niece Scarlett Johansson. Schreiber said he resisted the play at first because he thought he was too young for the part (though, interestingly, he's 42 and the character is 40), and, what's more, he'd underestimated Miller's work: "But when I read it," he admitted, "I said, 'Jeez, this guy can write!' "

And so can Shakespeare, though Schreiber feels Hamlet is a problem play "because you can't beat the audience. Everyone in the audience thinks they're Hamlet!" He played the role in 2000—the poster, he said, made him look like a seal—but he's since aimed for more offbeat choices, twice playing trans people and deciding, "At best, I look like Barbra Streisand—which is no insult to Barbra Streisand."

Schreiber and Johansson do Arthur Miller.
Joan Marcus
Schreiber and Johansson do Arthur Miller.

And no insult to musicals, but that's where the maverick star draws the line. "After I won the Tony," Schreiber revealed, "I got offered everything. They offered me Guys and Dolls, but I really can't sing." Really? Then he might have been perfect for that production!

Carrie Fisher sings in the notoriously odd Star Wars Holiday Special from 1978, and in her Times talk, she said that, as a condition for doing commentary on the Star Wars DVD, she made George Lucas give her a copy of the impossible-to-find special. "So I could have something for parties," she explained to the crowd. "When I want everyone to leave."

Everyone stayed throughout Fisher's talk, which was even better than Wishful Drinking because she went for deeper truths, though she also managed one-liners about her dad ("He was more interested in pursuing pussy than his career"), her gay ex ("I have a certain androgyny which allowed him to remain for a while"), and fame itself ("Celebrity is just obscurity biding its time"). As proof of that last wisdom, Fisher currently does a voice on Family Guy "for scale, for rich Seth MacFarlane." When MacFarlane wanted her to make fun of Star Wars on the show "for $12," she refused, but Fisher said he snuck it into the script anyway. She should burn him a copy of the holiday special as revenge.

And then I had to go back to chatting up the stars myself, which was fine in the case of Michael Fassbender, that intense, hot-looking actor from Hunger, Inglourious Basterds, and Fish Tank, a new drama in which he beds the 15-year-old daughter of his new girlfriend. He's good off-screen, too. At a dinner in his honor last week, the wiry German-born Irishman entertained me by acting out entire scenes from his favorite movies, like Dog Day Afternoon and Glengarry Glen Ross, in between going into great detail about the shimmery beauty of mackerels. I ordered one anyway.

Thanks to saving people from sleeping with the fishes, Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger became the subject of Brace for Impact, Sunday's TLC documentary detailing the water landing that almost rescued all of 2009 from despair. The man outsmarted a whole flock of suicide terrorist birds! At the premiere, I asked the dried-off hero if a large part of a pilot's motivation is that he's saving his own ass, too. "I don't think about it as being a separate issue," he replied, earnestly. "I think about it in terms of getting everybody to safety." Which is why I'd be a terrible pilot.

I commandeered my ratty girl's bike to a testosterone-laden get-together at porn mogul Michael Lucas's apartment, where Lucas gushed to me, "There's such a great mix of people here. Where else could you find such different types in the same place?" I looked around and saw a house full of 32-year-old gay male porn stars, porn-star wannabes, and other professionals on the prowl. "On Manhunt?" I replied.

At nightclubs, a healthy mix is sometimes avoided on purpose, perversely enough. A friend of mine was just turned away by the doorman at a trendy club and argues, "But I'm good filler! I'm not A, but I'm between B and C, and any good club needs that element. I dress, I buy drinks, I know people inside, and I dance energetically. You have to have good filler to make a club. I wouldn't want to be in a room of all A's." I know! So many of them are A-holes.

At the East Village fondue boîte the Bourgeois Pig, A-plus types come to gaze into each other's eyes while dipping bread into oozy pots of cheese and chocolate. "The place used to be Richie Rich's apartment," creative director Miguel Calvo told me there, referring to the designer known from Heatherette. "When Richie came here, he ran into the kitchen saying, 'This is my bedroom!' The kitchen help looked confused." But professionally enough, they kept on dutifully cranking out the fromage.

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