By Jena Ardell
By Jon Campbell
By Alan Scherstuhl
By Tessa Stuart
By Roy Edroso
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
By Zachary D. Roberts
Which pretentious style-queen screamed at a famed photographer during Fashion Week, "No more pictures! Everyone wants to take my picture! And it'll just be a small picture in the magazine anyway!"? What writer for the same corporation was caught stealing five pillowcases at a party, saying, when caught, "I thought we were supposed to take them"? Which saucy drag queen advertises on Craigslist as a cross-dresser in need of serious black dick? Which one doesn't?
Which vampirey star hangs with high school kids and likes to go to their houses and intake lots of pot? Which middle-aged sitcom star can be spotted regularly on the 104 bus, chatting with his favorite person—himself? Which '50s singer used to be seen at dinners with the wife, where he'd cover his head when a hot waiter would walk by so as not to be led into temptation? Which rocker married to a rising actress cheated at least once that I know of?
Which girlfriend (among many) of that bedraggled sports figure supposedly once dated a cable host, but nobly dumped him so she could be more loyal to her then-fiancé? Which editor celebrated with management that they'd gotten "over the hump," even though the bloodbath was far from over? Which designer nabbed so many rich men on the way up partly because she gives the most amazing head in Christendom? Which married gay insists on clear ice cubes only in his drinks and everyone's afraid to ask him why?
Which Tony winner made up most of the stories she so lovingly told in that tribute show? Which other Tony winner privately admits that working with that fish-out-of-water music star was a bit of a nightmare? Which bi-racial star's daughter was approached by a writer who told her, "I interviewed your father," only to have her reply, "We fucking hated that article!"? Which separated Oscar winner supposedly got fucked by a trannie, but gingerly told her, "Put two condoms on that"? How can you argue with that kind of fortitude?
And, finally, let me use names here: A holy person who lived in the Vatican swears to me that Joe Ratzinger, a/k/a Pope Benedict XVI, has a "mesmerizingly beautiful" male assistant, and no one's quite sure what their relationship consists of. Lots of praying on their knees, I'd imagine. Whoops! I guess that Boys in the Band character is not the only Michael who talks too much.