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Lady Gaga Approximately

You can't be a fabulous pop star like her, no matter what she tells you

America responded with a collective "Well, of course!" when Lady Gaga formally announced herself in 2008. Overnight success is a myth, but then again, Gaga's first two singles, "Just Dance" and "Poker Face," both hit #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Since then, she's worn red latex to meet Queen Elizabeth, possibly dethroned a queen of a different sort (Madonna), collaborated twice with Beyoncé, compelled Barbara Walters to say "bluffin' with my muffin" on prime-time television, reminded the post-MTV generation how videos crucially enrich pop music (the eye-popping "Bad Romance" clip netted an average of two million views per day in its first month on YouTube), was declared "more powerful than Anna Wintour" by BlackBook, and got sentenced to hell by the Westboro Baptist Church.

Fred Phelps may think she's doomed, but Gaga's ascent to superstardom reads more like divine providence, prophesized right on the cover of her debut album (The Fame, duh). Before that, her first major press attention resulted not from her music, but from her serving as stylistic inspiration for Christina Aguilera's brief electro-glam phase. Gaga was established before she was established—her ascent seemed like nothing short of a goddess assuming her rightful position in celebrity's ever-renewing pantheon, like something that sprung from Myra Breckinridge's head, or maybe from her likewise ambiguous genitalia. (Incidentally, "Is Lady Gaga a man?" was AskJeeves.com's third-most-asked question of 2009. You haven't made it till they've questioned your sexuality; you haven't been deified until they've questioned your gender.)

Our collective ass has been pinched by sexy cupid, yes, but there's more than the cosmos behind Gaga's sharp ascent to mass adoration. Her voice is much stronger than your average disco floozy (at her best, she resembles Aguilera, actually, subtracting a few octaves and adding a lot of taste). The strength of her songwriting is never obscured by the ear- and/or stadium-filling synth layers, grinding and zapped with static as they're piled on by RedOne and her other producers. (Nevertheless, she readily offers live "acoustic" versions of her otherwise electronic tracks, just to make clear she really can play these durable little ditties.) Her hooks thrust themselves at you like little aspiring superstars themselves, desperate to be loved. In fact, indelible as her writing is, her music's quality is just about the least interesting component of her career to dissect. It's enjoyable on such a fundamental level that it rebukes a message she's broadcasted via LCD display on one pair (out of what must be hundreds) of her distinctive sunglasses: "Pop music will never be low brow." No intellect is necessary to enjoy these tunes.

Moreover, you can detect Gaga's hard work when she's merely existing: Just standing upright in one of her wardrobe monstrosities (like the giant rotating orb, or Alexander McQueen's 12-inch stiletto claws) is an accomplishment. But setting aside whatever Gaga's shocking people with at any given moment—be it involving batwings, bone, or blood—she has filled a musical void as well. The still-thriving disco/house revival in pop music incubated by Timbaland, Rihanna, Janet, Britney, and the Great Daft Punk Infatuation of 2007 needed a singular face. Hers is not an unfamiliar one, either, as Gaga's Eurodisco tendencies and open fame fixation mimic the not-so-great Electroclash fizzle of the early '00s, which if nothing else proves that something can be both stupid and ahead of its time. That combination works much better now that blogs have inextricably linked fame examination to technology. What better love theme for this cultural climate of high scrutiny than one that proclaims, "I'm your biggest fan/I'll follow you until you love me/Papa-paparazzi"?

Gaga is prone to vocal repetition ("Puh-puh-puh-poker face," "Muh-muh-muh-monster"), which has the simple, hypnotic effect of an animated gif. This woman is her own loop-making machine, much like she serves as her own interpreter. In interviews, she consistently supplies crystalline meanings for her opaque lyrics, playing along with the kids on the playground who ascribe head-scratching readings to pop songs (like when people decided Cassie's "Me & U" was about giving head). Because it isn't otherwise evident, she's had to explain that "Poker Face" is about fantasizing about a chick while she's with her dude, that "Dance in the Dark" is about a woman with such low self-esteem that she only fucks with the lights off, that "Speechless" is a plea to her father to undergo open-heart surgery. You like self-sufficiency with your multi-hyphenation? This singer-songwriter-disco-goddess-clotheshorse will give you self-sufficiency! You barely need to listen at all: She's like a self-cleaning oven who'll eat the food and then burp for you.

Last year's constant chatter both from and about Gaga has introduced so many contradictions, her rhetoric is less "fake it till you make it" than "make it till you have to fake it." Besides some weird stuff about feminism and her conflicting views on aiming for hits even though her career is allegedly "not about record sales," her least coherent thoughts concern what she talks about the most: celebrity. Andy Warhol she ain't. She speaks of "inner fame" as if celebrity isn't entirely determined by external forces. She claimed on Barbara Walters's The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2009 special that the biggest misconception about her is that she is "artificial and attention-seeking," as if we're supposed to look away when she enters a room wearing Muppets. She says Lady Gaga is not a persona and has gone so far as to claim she sleeps in wigs, as if that's comfortable. She talks about "liberating" her fans, and, as a former outcast, wanting them to feel less alone, as if anyone without star power (or a trust fund) could live up to her standards of fabulousness. It's surprising that someone who heartily waves a freak flag could transition so easily into standard superstar-speak (Diddy: "My mission, first and foremost, is to inspire people"). It's as if she took to heart the "You're a superstar/Yes, that's what you are" line in Madonna's "Vogue" and decided it was worthy of evangelism.

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    I can see that happening. At this point in her career GaGa is where Madonna was in 1984! I’m 25 and am on the GaGa bandwagon but as someone that respects the music of the past and someone that has seen Madonna (her 2006 Confessions Tour left me with my jaw on the ground). Not only can she dance her butt off but her voice has improved so much and on some of the ballads she was proved she’s actually a pretty great singer now. replica rolex I think calling GaGa the “new” Madonna is premature and needs to stop.

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    . Xtina has genuine vocal chops, while Lady Gaga has genuine songwriting chops. Beyond that, they're simply not comparable. More than anyone, Lady Gaga is a cultural daughter of Gwen Stephani: their sensibilities, fashion and voice are perfectly sympatico (more than once when hearing Lady Gaga's songs for the first time, I wondered if Ms. Gwen was conducting some kind of musical experiments, as she did on her first solo effort. acne scar treatment

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  • Pamela Maloof 02/13/2010 6:53:00 AM

    I was a litle confused as to whether you were painting Lady Gaga in a good light or bad. What I do know is she is an amazing singer, songwriter, performer and human being. She wears weird clothing yes, But thats what people love about her, because she is so delicously different, and talented to boot. A singer that can actually sing!!!! No way! get out of town..lol I think She is an inspiration to a lot of people, and I do have to say I am sick of the stories "Lady Gaga, Man or Woman" are you kidding me? It's just the press trying to destroy another celebrity's career. But her fans know better than to listen to all the BS that spouts out of some journalists mouths. We know better than to listen to Bad Press. We love our Lady!

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    I really enjoyed Gaga when I first heard her music. Let's face it, her songs are catchy and quite entertaining to listen to. However, once I became aware of her antics as a perfomer, I quickly lost interest. What is the point of promoting Illuminati symbolism in her music? Ritualistic sacrifices? On stage orgies? I'm not sure who her demographic is, just that I am not among them. What is her message? Sex, materialism, living life in a hypnotic stupor, and money. Gee, she went to the same Catholic school as Paris Hitlon, wears the same platinum blonde hair, and is about as dumb.

  • wurdnurd 01/22/2010 10:36:00 AM

    *snicker* I love when bitchy queens start sniping at each other. Face it kids, you're both right. Yes, Lady Gaga is the new cultural Madonna-figure, just as there have been for the past 25 years. Every generation, a new star must rise to take the place of the formerly new. It is the cycle of entertainment. Though I'll say that comparing Lady Gaga to Christina Aguilera (minus the range and...um...talent??) is totally inaccurate. Xtina has genuine vocal chops, while Lady Gaga has genuine songwriting chops. Beyond that, they're simply not comparable. More than anyone, Lady Gaga is a cultural daughter of Gwen Stephani: their sensibilities, fashion and voice are perfectly sympatico (more than once when hearing Lady Gaga's songs for the first time, I wondered if Ms. Gwen was conducting some kind of musical experiments, as she did on her first solo effort). They even have their own proprietary advisors/muses/posses: Ms. Gwen has her Harajuku girls; Lady Gaga has her Haus of Gaga. This is simply an observation, and I agree with the commenter above: I, too, look forward to what this talented new singer-songwriter brings to the table over the next 5, 10, 15 or more years.

  • Jake 01/22/2010 12:10:00 AM

    aMANda: Honey, you needs to shut your pie-hole and mind your own business. I know my stuff better than you!

  • Chuckjones 01/21/2010 12:19:00 PM

    I suppose Rich had fun writing this piece, but good grief. How to take fun out of pop. And Gaga is fun! I've been mostly a jazz, folk and bluegrass fan but have found her music to be immensely enjoyable. I think she's turned pop on its head. She's a brilliant and talented young woman, in my opinion. As for the Madonna comparisons, these are unfair to both of them. I well remember when Madonna came on the scene. Gaga has accomplished much more than Madonna had at the age of (almost) 24. Yet, very few have accomplished as much as Madonna by the age of 51. We'll see where Gaga goes over the next 20-30 years.

  • amanda 01/21/2010 8:46:00 AM

    umm jake if you knew anything about anything besides pop music you would happen to know that Coldplay has been compared to being the new U2 ON THE COVER OF ROLLING STONE MAGAZINE. Also, Usher was defined as the new MJ, as was Chris Brown. Stop with the misogynistic card please. Secondly, Madonna is d-o-n-e, whats wrong with new anyway that scares so many people. Thank God theres a new one bc Madonna's new singles are awful time and time again. Just because your still comeing out with new crap, doesn't a re-invention make. I cannot stand Lady Gaga and proably wouldve just let it go with no comment, but when i saw you're follow up calling someone a "washed-up queen" u deserve it. Grow up and learn to like new, even if it scares you.... Sincerely Not a Pop Fan

  • John 01/21/2010 4:09:00 AM

    great article rich. i much prefer the music to the interviews. lol

  • Jake 01/21/2010 3:16:00 AM

    To "To Jake": Why are you hating on me? All you washed up Queens are the same.

  • To Jake 01/20/2010 8:38:00 AM

    Hey that was kinda deja vu, did you copy and paste that from a different comment you left somewhere else? I'm thinkin you did hahaha

  • Jake 01/20/2010 7:17:00 AM

    Don�t get me wrong, I LOVE GaGa, she�s got immense talent and a huge personality. I think she�s put out some fantastic pop songs and I�ve seen her twice already and she put on a great show on both occasion. But I just have to say I�m beyond sick of the comparisons to Madonna. GaGa is a newer artist and has a lot of hype built around her and a great following, Madonna is a global icon and one of the greatest pop culture icons of all time up there with the Beatles, Elvis, MJ and Marilyn Monroe. Madonna�s career, legacy, hits and catalog are unrivaled; she�s the most successful female artist of all time, the greatest female performer and certainly the most important one since Aretha Franklin and her music (Like a Prayer, Ray of Light) is as close to art that pop can get. Pop music wouldn�t be the same if Madonna didn�t exist as not only is she the Queen of Pop but essentially started modern dance pop that all the dance divas still make today. Besides wasn�t Britney the new Madonna? Gwen Stefani? Kylie Minouge, Janet Jackson, Paula Abdul, Rhianna? Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Beyonce? My point is Madonna IS the new Madonna and always will be. She�s been making hits for decades now, the first being Everybody in 1982 the more recent 4 Minutes in 2008 (although her 2009 greatest hits single Celebration was also number 1 on the club charts). Male artists don�t seem to be forced to defend their legacy the same way and it�s not fair. Justin Timberlake and Usher aren�t the new Michael Jackson, Coldplay isn�t the new U2�.so why does Madonna also get so much nonsense written about her? There are been countless imitators, some extremely talented ones that are great artists in their own right but Madonna is in a whole different league. GaGa will be around for a long time, but to last as long as �Her Madgesty� and still keep going we�d have to see her in 2037 and beyond. I have a lot of faith in GaGa but not sure if I can see that happening. At this point in her career GaGa is where Madonna was in 1984! I�m 25 and am on the GaGa bandwagon but as someone that respects the music of the past and someone that has seen Madonna (her 2006 Confessions Tour left me with my jaw on the ground). Not only can she dance her butt off but her voice has improved so much and on some of the ballads she was proved she�s actually a pretty great singer now. I think calling GaGa the �new� Madonna is premature and needs to stop.

 

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