By Jared Chausow
By Katie Toth
By Elizabeth Flock
By Albert Samaha
By Anna Merlan
By Jon Campbell
By Jon Campbell
By Albert Samaha
ARIES [March 21–April 19] "Those who know how to win are much more numerous than those who know how to make proper use of their victories," said Greek historian Polybius. I hope it will serve as a spur in the wake of your recent triumph. Will you be content with merely basking in the glow, frittering away the potentials? Or will you get down to business and use your new advantages to upgrade your destiny to what we might refer to as Aries 2.0?
TAURUS [April 20–May 20] "Whatever shines should be observed," said astronomer William Herschel, discoverer of Uranus. He was referring to heavenly bodies, but I'd like to expand the meaning for your use. According to my analysis, it has become very important for you to notice, observe, and think about anything that shines. Doing so will tune you in to exactly what you need to know in order to make the best decisions in the coming weeks.
GEMINI [May 21–June 20] "One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time," wrote André Gide. I'm guessing that 2009 was a time when you embarked on such a search, Gemini—a half-blind, groping exploration that asked you to leave the past behind without knowing where the future lay. By now, though, I suspect you have sighted the shore of your new frontier. If you haven't yet, it'll happen soon.
CANCER [June 21–July 22] I wonder if you can you handle this much healing intensity, Cancerian. The possibilities for transforming difficult parts of your life are substantial: 1) A confusing riddle may be partially solved through a semi-divine intervention; 2) A sore spot could be soothed thanks to the power of your curiosity; 3) An ignorance that has caused you pain may be illuminated, allowing you to suffer less; and 4) If you can summon the capacity to generously tolerate uncertainty, you may find and rehabilitate an orphaned part of your life. I'm not saying for sure that any of this stuff will happen, but the odds are favorable that at least one will.
LEO [July 23–August 22] What will it be, Leo? A time of rampaging ids and slamming doors and lost opportunities? Or will this be the week you finally slip into the magic sanctuary and track down the secret formula? Will this be the breakthrough moment when you outmaneuver the "dragon" with that nonviolent "weapon" you've been saving for when it was absolutely necessary? It really is up to you. Either scenario could unfold. You have to decide which one you prefer, and then set your intention.
VIRGO [August 23–September 22] I don't mean to alarm you, but I think you may be in a hypnotic trance right now. It's possible that the thrumming hum of your routine has shut down some of your normal alertness, lowering your awareness of situations that you need to tune in to. When I count to three, you will hereby snap out of your daze and become fully awake. 1 . . . 2 . . . 3. Now, look around you and get yourself more closely in touch with your immediate environment. Make an effort to vividly see and hear and smell everything that's going on. This will have the effect of mobilizing your subconscious mind. Then, for a period of at least five days, you'll have a kind of X-ray vision.
LIBRA [September 23–October 22] You would stir up some good fortune for yourself if you brought meals to shut-ins or gave a little presentation at an old folks' home. Oddly enough, it's also an excellent time for you to scratch and claw for a bigger market share or bring your creative ideas to people in a position to help you. That's the odd thing about this week. Capitalist-style self-promotion and actualized compassion will not only coexist—they'll have a symbiotic relationship.
SCORPIO [October 23–November 21] Last week was the anniversary of my very first weekly horoscope column, which appeared years ago in Good Times, a newspaper in Santa Cruz, California. My initial effort was crude and a bit reckless compared to what I eventually learned to create. And yet it was imbued with a primal fervor and heartfelt adventurousness that had a certain charm, and many people seemed to find it useful. Today, I bow down to that early effort, honoring it for the seed it sprouted and thanking it for the blessings it led to. I encourage you to do something similar to what I just described, Scorpio: Pay homage to the origins that made it possible for you to be who you have become.
SAGITTARIUS [November 22–December 21] In the Choctaw language, there are two kinds of past tenses. In one, you speak about an event or experience that you personally know to be a fact. In the other, you deliver information that you have acquired second-hand and therefore can't definitely vouch for. In my perfect world, you would find a way to incorporate this into all of your communications. In other words, you would consistently distinguish between the unimpeachable truth and the alleged truth. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, this would give you great power to influence the rhythms of life to flow in your favor.
CAPRICORN [December 22–January 19] "The great composer does not set to work because he is inspired," wrote Ernest Newman, "but becomes inspired because he is working. Beethoven, Bach, and Mozart settled down day after day to the job at hand. They didn't waste time waiting for inspiration." I think what Newman said applies to those working in any field where creativity is needed—which is really just about every field. Given your current astrological omens, Capricorn, it's especially apropos for you now. This is an excellent time to increase your mastery of the kind of discipline that spurs inventive thought and surprising breakthroughs.
AQUARIUS [January 20–February 18]: I got an e-mail from an Aquarian reader complaining that the astrologers she consulted in early 2009, including me, were wrong about the year ahead. All of us said it would be a time of expansion and opening for your tribe, a phase of rapid growth and fresh energy. But according to this reader, 2009 turned out to be very different. Here's my response: Expansion and opening did indeed occur, but their initial effects weren't what you expected. They shattered the old containers of your life in order to make it possible for you to create new, bigger containers that would be more suitable for the person you're becoming. And this year, 2010, is when you will work in earnest to create those new containers. Now's a good time to dig in.
PISCES [February 19–March 20] I wish you could aim tachyon particles through an inverted positronic array while modulating synaptical relays through an anti-matter torque-buffer. This would bend the space-time continuum back to a point before your recent detour began. Then, armed with knowledge of the future, you'd be able to navigate your way more elegantly through the crazy mash of illusions and misunderstandings. But since the high-tech solution I described may not be possible, I suggest that you clear your head of theories about why people are doing what they're doing. Slow yourself down so completely that you can see the majestic flicker of eternity hidden in every moment. And send humble notes and witty gifts to anyone whose links with you got tweaked.
Homework: All of us are born geniuses, but most of us have been de-geniused by the grind. Want to re-genius yourself? Go here: http://bit.ly/ReGeniusSpell