By Albert Samaha
By Steve Weinstein
By Devon Maloney
By Tessa Stuart
By Alison Flowers
By Albert Samaha
By Jesse Jarnow
By Eric Tsetsi
A gay man with a wife also pops up in Mr. & Mrs. Fitch, the Douglas Carter Beane comedy in which married gossip columnists desperately invent a celebrity who then becomes wildly famous. This is patently absurd and insulting! That would never happen with journalists of my caliber—but let me simply say that future superstar Nelson Sussman is amazing in the show.
I'm not inventing the fact that skinny young gay hipsters and some '90s survivors take the shortbus every month to the landmark gay bar Julius for John Cameron Mitchell's Mattachine parties, a must-attend for boys with a band, a one-man show, or some hormones. The event is crowded and buzzy—a heady collision of history and hotties—and last time around, Jake Shears and Fred Schneider added extra spice, the DJ treating the crowd to their newest aural projects as the post-pubescents listened and learned.
But back to documentaries with quick summaries: Burma VJ is the one about how "tenacious Burmese reporters face down death to expose the repressive regime controlling their country." Since the tenacious ones shot all that footage, would director Anders Ostergaard share the Oscar with them? "I don't guilt-trip on this," Ostergaard sensibly told me at a lunch for the movie's nomination. "It's amazing news material, but we still had to shape it into a film. So I don't have any modesty about that." Still, he'll surely give them a tenacious shout-out.
The Cove won the Writers Guild Awards for documentary screenplay on Saturday, and that's about the end of my tenacious reporting on that event. It was all very worthy—especially since I hope to be a writer someday—but I was more entranced by MC Susie Essman holding up a trophy and deciding it looked like a flying vagina, which is perfect because, as she noted, "Every winner goes home with some pussy." Essman also let her lips fly about why John Mayer wasn't there ("Every time he opens his mouth, shit comes flying out") and what Avatar's real achievement is. ("It's the first movie that's simultaneously three-dimensional and one-dimensional.") But that's just the initial pitch.